Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Religion In Our House For Those That Are Interested..

I was born and raised a Roman Catholic and I'm afraid I'm one of those who born a Catholic remains one even after falling from grace as they say in the Catholic Church. Not that I still go to church, because I don't, but when I go for a funeral or wedding I still feel it's home. And I hope when they bury me they have a Catholic mass. I have no idea why I feel that way either. Thus, I never converted to another organized religion. I have one I can use if I choose to stop being "fallen away," as they put it. During my life I toyed with the idea of becoming Unitarian, but anyone I ever knew who did that (and I know a few) was disappointed in the lack of "something." I have a melting pot of beliefs, I could become an Episcoplain in a heartbeat probably because at least they got rid of that whole Pope thing. Long before the scandals that have rocked the church and the credibility of Bishops etc, I discovered way too many of their human frailities to believe in following their lead. However, Buddhism holds some beliefs I adhere to as well. So basically, I don't deal well with with the Catholic heirarchy and don't feel like moving across the street to another church. I pray when the spirit moves me and I have big doubts about alot of things, including the bible.

Hubby is of no particular faith. He was born in to some Protestant religion but his family was not religious. He once studied briefly to be a Methodist minister but decided against it. He believes in God, but will not go to church. Period.

#1 is a Southern Baptist and attends services semi-regularly.
#2 is a Methodist but we don't know how she got there to tell the truth. She reads and studies the bible almost daily and goes to church almost every Sunday, taking the grandkids with her.
The teenage boy attends his mother's (#1) church on occasion. The 19 year old, no church. The grown boy, no church although when he goes it's with his mom, #1.
Oh and my kids - they were raised Catholic. I felt it was important to give them something. They don't go to church regularly although they used to. One is really quite Catholic in his morality and beliefs. They are both pro-life for instance. The other one became a born again Christian at one point, but is back to being Catholic. After a certain age I left it up to them what they wanted to do.

I have an ex husband who came from a family who all converted to Mormon. He rebelled against it because at the time, Mormons were known for their racism. (1960's). So that religion never really seemed attractive to me.

That my friends is what I tried to say in my brief introduction. I call us secular polygamists because we are not a plural family because of any religious belief. Ok well #2 likes to quote passages from her bible that refer to "more than one wife." ugh. That was thousands of years ago right?

Hubby has said "Christian Polygamists" but I'm pretty sure what he meant was we are polygamists who happen to be Christians.


Brenda - Noor said...

Oh wow! You all really do have a diversed home. I have read your post but I am just imagining how you all each met hubby, and did he or she introduce the idea of polygamy.

Disciple said...

Dear new, thank you for clarifying. Patience and compromise - two fundamental aspects of living with others; especially, however, in a plural marriage.

I was doing some reading at www.biblicalfamilies.org just now and was positively impressed by the answers given there to questions from people living plural marriage.

You might want to check it out.

Here's something that was posted there:

Do you love him enough?

He is your husband. You have stood by him through thick and thin. You have submitted to his authority throughout all the years of your marriage. You are comfortable with him. You have supported him, studied with him, prayed with him, and prayed for him. You have cried with him, cried over him and loved him through thick and thin. You may have bourn his children, walked through sickness and health with him and gone through more poorer than richer.

You have watched him grow into the mature Christian that he is today. You have been sad when he has faltered and you have been proud when he succeeds. Together you have sought God’s will for your life and your family.

But do you love him enough to grow with him down this path? It isn’t easy. It can be lonely and weary. Do you love him enough to stand by him when his heart is breaking? Do you love him enough to love him through the struggles? Are you a Godly woman who stands beside her man, no matter what?

Do you love him enough to forgive him for walking the road that is less common? Can you see the future in his eyes? Can you see what God sees in him? God chose him for a special purpose. He chose you too. Do you love Him enough?

This is a challenge from God. He never promised it would be easy to walk among his chosen people.

Mat 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Mat 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Mat 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Mat 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Mat 10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
Mat 10:39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Your husband has been called to something greater than himself. Your family has been called to something larger than the sum of its parts. Do you love him enough to trust God and walk beside him. Without you it will be a lonely path.

Love is the only reason for anything

new#3 said...

Thank you disciple! Do you have a blog?

Brenda - that story will come in time :) I promise.

Deb said...

I'm looking foward to hearing about that, too. lol

PM said...

Quite ingteresting and thanks for sharing. I didn't know that there were really any long-term polygynists outside of Mormonism and Islam. I know, of course, that there are polyamorous people but always assumed they had one strong marriage and shared other partners for short periods of time or encounters.

It has always been easy for me to see how men use religion to back up their desire for multiple partners. So if it's not grounded in religion, it is more curious to me from the viewpoint of the women. I am Muslim and married a man who swore that his marriage to his first wife was over completely before we married. However, a month later he remarried her and I was thrust into polygyny. I was willing to try to make it work had he been fair and decent (he was not); however, it was not as easy helping my family to understand and in the long run their concerns with 100% correct. Can I ask how your family feels about your situation?

Also, I am assuming you and #2 are not legally married and by law you would simply be living together. How would that affect you all if something happened to your husband?

Hope I am not too personal and appreciate your patience.


Dee and Elijah Sue said...

Wow, so very much like our home! I, too, am a "wayward" catholic. I totally identify with what you are saying. Going into a Catholic church always feels like home.

And like you, I am not to fond of the whole hierachy of the Church, and can't wrap myself around some of the doctrine. But it is still home to me.

My sisterwife, ES, refers to herself as a heathen. She believes in a higher power, but organized religion makes her toes curl--just too much hypocracy.

Hubby is an atheist, yet he is more christ-like than may christians I know. Go figure....

So we, too, are an ecclectic mix. We were not brought together by religious beliefs, but by our own core beliefs and values.

And as Disciple aptly put it, "love is the only reason for anything"--couldn't agree more.


new#3 said...

Yes, love is how we all came together in our family. Not a religious belief. We are all very family oriented. Basically when hubby fell in love with #2 he didn't want to leave #1 or his children. He felt alot of guilt but the women got together and persuaded him to be with both of them. Unusal situation, perhaps it is. With me it was different. We fell in love during a time he was having doubts - which everyone has on occasion. He traveled for business. But he didn't leave his situation. Eventually I was introduced to the family as a candidate for #3 and I was accepted after a long, long road. I wouldn't move anywhere near him until that happened.Believe it or not they were accepting of the situation between hubby and me just they didn't know if they wanted me to become a wife or not for a long time. Odd, I know. But as #2 explained it, I was far away and not a threat to her from a distance or even for the several times a year hubby and I would visit. Gradually those visits started to include me visiting their home. And eventually we made it official after much soul searching and the other women coming to agree, first #1 then #2.
No my children only suspect. They live far away. I'm not sure what to do about that, but it will work out in the end because we love each other.I do believe that.

TW said...

[quote]The other one became a born again Christian at one point, but is back to being Catholic. [endquote]

Can you explain that for me? "Born again Christians" can't also be Catholic? Doesn't that imply that Catholics are not Christian? I can't say I agree with the Catholic faith, but I know a lot of Catholics who refer to themselves as "Christians" in the Catholic faith. Shouldn't we be Christians (or Muslims, etc.) first, and then aligned with a particular faith after that?