Sunday, October 18, 2009

Ramblings on stuff like FLEXIBILITY and sharing...

This time (2nd chemo treatment) not only did my blood count go south but I ran a temp so Hubby had to take me on doctor's orders to the ER. I wound up spending 5 days in the hospital. All's better now, for now and I finally have the strength to write.

I've been spending some time reading poly blogs (not always commenting sorry) and I can't help but think what a variety of people we are. How diverse our situations are and how differently we cope.

I was particularly touched by 3rd's latest post about Boss Baby. I hate to say it but it seems as though her Mr Hubby might actually be relieved of a burden should BB actually leave. I have a lack of empathy for her. I mean, I would never agree to be in a marriage where I only saw Hubby once a week! BB agreed to the situation, so should she be unhappy enough to leave then so be it. Hopefully, 3rd will get her day!

Is that mean of me? No, I don't think so. See, poly marriage is sooo complicated. One knows going in that sharing a husband is the concept, but in reality it can feel very lonely at times. Even though I would prefer to live in my own house, at least all under one roof we all at least get to talk to Hubby every day. And yes, sigh, we get to work out our difficulties with sister wives on a daily basis. There are times it's sort of like being in a constant "group therapy" mode. It's work but it can be rewarding. I often wonder what it would be like only seeing Hubby once or twice a week. What if I had an emergency, medical or otherwise? I think the living situation on Big Love is ideal, but how many people can afford all those houses? And yes, even all in one house it's possible to feel lonely. Loneliness arrives at the darnedest times; like in the middle of the night when there's nothing to be done about it.

Flexibility is something that one needs in spades in polygamy. Someone commented to me that I seem to be the most adaptable of the three wives in this house. I took it as a compliment but honestly it can be a curse at times. Here I sit today, my day, waiting for Hubby and #1 to come home from visiting their son in the hospital. Do I resent it? NO NOT AT ALL...on the other hand, it's obvious they went out to eat afterwards, and I am having Ramen noodles for lunch lol..Seriously though, I think perhaps 3rd's BB is lacking in flexibility. As is my #2. It makes life in polygamy that much more difficult for them. So, I'm glad I have at least some of it myself.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

An Old Dog's Tricks

Cancer news:

I had my 2nd treatment a week ago this past Tuesday and once again my white blood cells have bottomed out right on schedule. No raw veggies, no pets/animals, no young children, no crowds and a slew of other restrictions. This time no Nupegen shots just antibiotics. Lots of fatigue but no rashes or anything so I consider myself lucky.

Normal News

Life here on what we affectionately call The Compound is back to normal now that summer is done. Summer is my very favorite season, even in Texas where it gets desert hot and dry. For us, autumn means less company coming over and more peace and quiet. #1 has struck up a friendship with my middle sister, the one that was here for my surgery. #2 has behaved better lol. Sorry but tis true. I have discovered since my illness that she means well for the most part. She is still overly chatty but I'm learning to tune her out. It only took a year and a half! Hubby has been great lately :)
Do I still yearn for my own living room and bathroom? Of course! I don't think that will ever change but I have grown to accept how polygamy works here finally. I think there would be less stress if we each had her own house but I understand where Hubby is coming from when he says it would be too much of a change for the other wives. He's right! A quick history story:
A long while ago there was almost another #3. She came very close to it. There was the getting to know the whole family thing, etc. She lived in the next town and had no desire to move here, so they tried it. No dice! Apparently, #2 has always felt that 9 am is the bewitching hour for her day! I can laugh now but honestly it's not amusing. The new let's try being a sister wife would pick up hubby in the late afternoon/evening when she got done with work. At 9 am SHARP #2 would be at her door looking to pick hubby up! No coffee or breakfast together or anything. When you consider that hubby's normal bedtime is after 2 am this was a huge problem to the new gal. HUGE. It didn't matter that her house was a 20 minute drive away. She was not going to get a minute of his time past 9 am. Oh, and both #1 and #2 would have to call in their good nights. I know how she felt, it's very disconcerting. #2 has done that to me and I live under the same roof!

It is very, very difficult to change an old dog's tricks. Do you think it's possible?