Monday, March 30, 2009

Suburban Polygamy #2

A typical Sunday in our house.

I get to sleep late Sunday morning because Saturday night is first wife's night, Sunday morning #2 goes to church and Sunday School with the grandbabies, and I like to give #1 and hubby some alone time before I wake up and get going, since Sunday is my day (in our godforsaken new schedule) I know I'm going to be spending alot of time with him.

Since I don't work and I don't have any classes on Sundays I try to spend time writing or painting if hubby is busy, if not we generally do some kind of shopping together. If we get out of the house early enough we might go out for lunch. #1 is off all day and 2 lately has been going to work in the mid afternoon. #1 likes to visit her parents on Sundays for a little while, or her sister who lives nearby. This is the day we might cook dinner together or just bring something in. If the weather is nice we hang out in our big yard, hopefully this summer we will swim in the pool and play with the grandkids for a while.The 16 year old usually has friends around on the weekends when he isn't at his girlfriend's house. Everything is very unstructured and relaxed here in many ways.

We both like to spend time on the computer so we'll do that together, listen to music while we do and then get ready for Sunday night tv. It's like a marathon tv session with Big Love, United States of Tara, Desparate Housewives, Brothers and Sisters and if none of that is available we'll watch a movie. Everyone is in and out all day. The teenagers, the grown kids and the wives. Errands and such are pretty much the same during Sunday although we try not to be too busy and just relax.

Errands seem to take up a lot of our time I think because there are so many of us. It's very hard to judge how much milk or bread we need to buy and a few other essentials. Other than that we are just a typical suburban family doing our Sunday thing. We don't socialize much with the neighbors but sometimes extended family stops by. I think there is a certain lonliness to Suburban Polygamy. Afterall, no one around us lives like we do. Polygamists who base their lifestyle on a religious belief have it easy that way, they have their church friends or whatever.

Hubby likes to say we live like hippies in a commune. Sometimes I like that analogy. We are in a way very self sufficient. I know much as I would like to have more friends I don't know how I would fit an active social life in!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Writing, yoga and other things.

I feel I should write more but I don't want to bore readers with such mundane stuff like sharing bathrooms etc. Sometimes I think that folks who don't know would be astonished at how ordinary and boring plural marriage can be on a day to day basis. So, I tend to write when there is a problem however big or small, or to vent about you know who lol.

So today I will just write about simple stuff, like the classes I've been taking thanks to the great advice of Hidden Sage.

Yoga - yoga helps me. I had forgotten how much as I stopped practicing over 30 years ago. But now since going to the college to take a class I'm reminded of how easy it is to be calm if you really want to. How good it feels to think only about your breathing, your life force. I wish I could get hubby to go on a regular basis, he doesn't know how to heal himself. Also it's good for the body to do all that stretching.

Oil painting - I don't think oil is my medium!!! After this class is over I'm going to try watercolors. Less precise. But painting, no matter if you are good and bad at it, is also relaxing. You can lose yourself in it.

Forget the water aerobics! It made me feel old!!

What does all that have to do with polygamy? ALOT. It got me out of the house and thinking of myself as an individual again. See, polygamy is somewhat like socialism. Well, not really but you do tend to think about EVERYONE, the whole unit, as much if not more than yourself after a while. There is always so much to consider.

Getting OUT and about into the world and doing things for oneself, selfishly even, can be very exhilarating!! Otherwise you spend a good deal of time thinking about things to make 10 people happy at dinner time! Who's turn is it to do this or that. Why am I dealing with teenage boys AGAIN at this stage of my life!?! Is it time to hit up Sam's Club again or will a run to the grocery store do? If I go to this place with hubby will that one be envious or not? Do I really want to watch the Sarah Conner Chronicles just because it's MY day/night? Stupid stuff like that and it bogs you advice to anyone who is thinking about entering plural marriage:

Get out! Do things for yourself! Get a manicure and pedicure ALONE if you want, if not take a sister wife. But do it! Get a hobby! And maybe make a new friend or two, or even acquaintance. Read books! Just don't steep yourself so deeply in to polygamy that you forget who you are. :)