Sunday, August 30, 2009

One of many

This has been a couple of interesting weeks. Ups and downs in feelings; but the physical discomfort is somewhat abated, thank goodness. I'm even hoping I can get the go ahead from the doctors this week to DRIVE. Oh that would be wonderful!

Last Sunday I even got to go out to dinner! I was feeling pretty good.

Sundays are my days. Yes, I got the short end of the weekend stick. With a family this large, very often Sunday becomes family day. We have a pool; it's summer; friends and family show up.

I had to go in for day surgery this past Thursday (my other day) to have the incisions fixed by the plastic surgeon. They weren't healing the way he would have liked. I'm told this is because I have been a smoker most of my life. I've cut myself down to about 3-4 cigarettes a day now and sometimes none if I sleep alot. Consequently I am weepy, cranky and sullen. HaHaHa!!! ok realistically I'm MORE weepy, cranky and sullen than I would be.

One good thing about being in a plural family - I have lots of help around the house and I'm not lonely. But I long for a day of just me and hubby going for a drive or watching old movies, funny movies. I'm searching for laughter.

I'm about to change my diet over to mostly fruit and veggies. I don't have much of an appetite anyway and fruit and veggies are cancer fighters. They will also boost my immune system in preparation for chemo which will start in about 8 days.

In polygamy you are one of many people who have needs to be met. I;m pretty sure that when you have cancer, and have lost two of your body parts, it would be preferable to be one of two or three.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Two weeks or so out

I actually left the house yesterday!! Seriously, I am seriously bored. All this hanging around the house is frustrating. Only thing is I seem to have pulled a muscle in my side by getting out of bed on my own instead of asking for help. All in all though I'm doing well post surgery. I've had some moments that have been depressing or blue, but it's getting better.

This hasn't been the "bonding" experience I thought it might be for our family. When I figure out why I'll let you know. Suffice to say that #2 and I are no closer and I feel almost out of place. Older. Too old. Hubby doesn't understand what I'm going through and the constant discomfort I'm in is making me cranky. Maybe when I can drive I'll feel better.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

A week ago

It's been 8 days since surgery. Whatever made me think that I would be blogging when I first got home from the hospital, it was definitely not happening! I slept the first couple of days and barely remember them honestly. To be brutely honest, all I remember was being in terrible pain. The pain has eased up though there remains that god awful pressure feeling at the incisions and occasional waves of pain. Mostly, I'm functioning. I would love to have more use of my arms though because I can't even brew a cup of coffee on my own yet.

#1 and my sister have struck up a friendship! My sister loved her! #1 is my awesome nurse now that I'm home. So far all tests are negative but a pet scan has been ordered for next week and one node shows a VERY small "something". I know the doctor was more detailed with me than that but I'll be darned if I can remember everything.

Hubby's cousin took me to my appointment today, she was a big help since I can't drive yet and she's an upbeat person. I find I can't stay on topic too long or sit still long enough to write much else today, so there may be a spat of brief entries for a while.