Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Not quite farewell.

It's been a year now....It actually went faster than I thought this being away from my poly family.

Things aren't perfect here where I am at the moment either...nothing is perfect, you would think by this ripe old age I would know that! I am planning a trip back home hopefully this Fall...wish me luck!

I'm thinking of starting a new blog, since I have little to say about polygamy at the moment. I never really advocated nor did I ever feel disdain for polygamy/plural marriage. I just accepted it as a viable alternative lifestyle and for some people a religious belief. This has just been about my journey. The best and the worst of it.

I wish I was happier with the lifestyle. It could suit me so well as I like my independence and alone time...but that's not what my experience brought to the table. I am envious of those of you who have that experience, and of those of you who don't but at least have what you want.

My problem as the father of my children reminded me a couple of weeks ago, is that I've never been the submissive type...yes, he actually said that because I disagreed with something he said about the kids...but it applies to the experience I have in a plural marriage. Not that hubby ever expected me to be that way, but he did expect me to fall in line with the others when suitable. Hard to explain really. I think the hardest thing for me though is putting up and living within the same walls as sister wives. It just rubs me the wrong way I guess...I often say to them: I've had the college (and high school) dormitory experience long ago. This is way too much like that. I need a kitchen of my own, a bathroom of my own, I'm older and sharing space is not an agreeable option for me. Sigh. Oh well. They just don't get that. My sister wives are very much the sacrificing type...or is it just that all of the people in that house with the exception of hubby are their blood? I, on the other hand, have always been the outsider.

I don't know what the future will bring but I'm not sure I see the point of writing about this experience any more.

I congratulate D for writing her book! I feel joyous for her. It's something I always contemplated doing, whether about polygamy or something always got in the way for me.

Ana, you are amazing! Your wisdom has been very appreciated.

BC, I worry about you and hope your life gets better.

To L and M....I love reading about your life your ups and downs and hope everyone is happy...I will continue reading.

Until I find my way to the authorship of another blog I will drop in here and say hello, perhaps with some updates.