Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Blogging Issues

I haven't posted in almost a month, not because I've had nothing to say, but more because I find it hard lately to choose where to start, or what topic to choose. Also there is the issue of comments.

Sometimes I get what I consider to be quite a few comments. Yay, someone is reading! Then other times no comments at all. Boo! No one likes me so why bloggers are sensitive people!

The worst however are the comments I don't want to publish. Go ahead and criticize me if that is what floats your boat. Tell me that you think this lifestyle is nuts, too hard, not for you, goes against your religious beliefs, makes you skeeve etc. Tell me you think I'm an idiot even. But please don't degrade others who read and comment here. That's a no no. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and beliefs in my book.

Then, recently, I got a very nasty comment that I rejected w/o thought. It was unnecessarily rude and borderline obscene. Basically it was this:

"Do you enjoy sharing a penis?" This was written by anonymous, of course.

Now you say, why share it now? Mostly because I am illustrating the type of comment that will be rejected. But there is something else.

Polygamy isn't about sex. As a matter of fact, of all my three marriages I've had since a young woman, this is the least amount of sex I've ever had.

Polygamy is mostly about our family. The blending of our families. It is about taking care of the children and fostering a home filled with love and compassion. The adults here all probably go out far less than in monogamous families. There is always someone home except on rare occasion.

Polygamy is about love, not lust, and not religion at least not in this family. It is about loving a man enough to share him. Some of you may not understand that.

In my case, polygamy is about coming to a point in my life where I don't need a husband all to myself to have on my arm like a trophy. I don't need to have a husband to define my identity.

Is it always easy? No. As a person I once admired often said, If it were easy, everyone would do it.
Is it always fun? Hell no. But often times it is.
Is it always peaceful. Ha Ha Ha! Only today when someone went to move one of the cars and found that another person had carelessly forgotton to put away a tarp and left it beside it beside the car and under one wheel - they discovered one of the cats in the process of giving birth inside the tarp and behind a wheel. There are many times I look at hubby and remark...You couldn't make this stuff up, we should be a bad sitcom :) Funny times, remarkable times, loud times and sometimes sad times. We juggle time, meals, the bathrooms, the television, the nights out. We are not always disciplined. And sometimes someone will be brought to tears out of frustration, other times out of joy.

We are not unlike every family except if we all want to go to Six Flags at once,'s sitcom time!

So dear anonymous reader,

If you choose to be vulgar, degrading or anything similar, your comment won't be published. If you choose to use my page to insult one of my readers, you won't be published. It's that simple.

I'm sorry if repeating the latest rude comment has offended anyone but I figure we are adults and have heard that word before.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Schedules...a necessary evil?

I am reprinting a post I wrote back in July. when the "schedule" we had was something like this..I had Mondays and Wednsdays, #2 had Thursday and Fridays, #1 had Tuesday and Saturdays and we alternated Sundays. The whole schedule concept was MY idea in the first place. Remember dear reader, basically I had moved in to a home that was reminiscent of a 1960's "hippy" bohemian lifestyle. As with anything new or different, it takes time to make the necessary adjustments..this post points that out!

I've Had it With The Damn Schedule! - July 25
Yes you read the title of topic of this post correctly. I've had it with the damn schedule. Not that it's going to change anytime in the next millenium but I'm going to make a valid attempt ... any day now.

See, the schedule was brought up by me. Validated by me. Now, I see the mistakes in it but I don't know that anyone else does. I finally had a screaming match with S the other night and boy oh boy did it feel GOOD. I'm not ashamed to say that either. She and I have been getting along better, some. I've been trying and she's been trying and maybe I've learned how to tune her out, some. However...... change is not something she takes to. I thought I had a problem with change! Compared to her I'm practically a chameleon. It may just be the one characteristic she and R have in common. The hatred of change.

T's dad was having surgery on Monday and on Monday and Tuesday (her night) she was staying at her parent's house about an hour away to help out. Wednsday is my night, when she would be returning. So I offered to switch with her so she wouldn't miss one of her days this week. Later on Tuesday when S came home from work I told her that T and I had worked it out this way and she was all well not upset but questioning it and didn't seem happy. Later that night when T called R and reminded him and told him about the switch he said he didn't know we had worked it out and wished we had informed him earlier. "Now S has to sleep alone two nights in a row, she's not going to be happy." Well. A "discussion"broke out between T, me and S wiht T on the phone. It wasn't pleasant. S kept saying how she wasn't "used" to sleeping alone two nights in a row, etc. I blew my top at her. R, wisely, stayed out of it.

My thinking now is to say the schedule stinks and needs to be revisited and instead of actual days of the week, have the schedule be every other night, or third night. And this way, no one always has Saturday or Friday night etc.

T agrees with me. But I fear she is the only one. No, I know she is the only one.

So, we shall see how long it takes me to convince S of the fairness of this new kind of schedule. Don't let's hold our breath.

Intellectually I still believe in a schedule, and emotionally too. It just isn't easy to stick to it all the time.

Since writing that post, I suceeded in getting the schedule changed to an every third night type of schedule. Much, Much better :) HOWEVER, both hubby and #2 get confused or annoyed or upset, whenever anyone requests a switch or change of any kind. Jeesh! Frankly, I don't care. The schedule we are on now is much happier, and fairer! If you don't already know, the schedule means this in our house - if it's your day/night, and you are home, you supposedly get some quality alone time with hubby...a movie perhaps, just sitting talking, a shopping trip for groceries or sundries, maybe a dinner out or a lunch, watching a tv show, whatever floats your collective boat. You also sleep together that night. Bear in mind that in a family this size, if alone time wasn't scheduled it may never happen :)