Thursday, July 26, 2012

Dreams and Ambitions and Life

So through the generosity of a family member I have had the good fortune to be able to watch a show on HBO TV called "Newsroom". I'll be honest the first episode didn't impress me except for the wonderful performance turned in by Sam Waterson. However, I felt compelled to keep watching. There have been 5 episodes thus far, each getting better and better, but that's not why I'm writing this.

I'm mostly writing this to remind myself of a couple of dreams and ambitions I've had throughout my life that were actually good!

As a child I wasn't a stellar student. I was what was known back then in the dinosaur age as an "underachiever." Today, many underachievers are diagnosed with ADHD or ADD. I wasn't hyperactive, I just preferred to sit in class and daydream. Dreaming of the typical young girl things like being a movie star like Tuesday Weld or Elizabeth Taylor soon progressed once I reached high school age. In a private Catholic boarding school one of the nuns recognized my ability to put my thoughts down on paper. I soon became a reporter for the school newspaper and in my senior year the editor of the Literary Magazine. College and the 1960's and 70's totally sidetracked me with an enormous interest in politics and the News. And then a couple of marriages and children got in the way. During the years I was a stay at home mother, volunteerism and activism fueled my soul. I volunteered at their schools; and campaigned for the environment mostly. Occasionally, I'm not sure why, I did PR work for whatever group I was active in. Newsletters, letters to the editor and guest editorials and features.

Then an eccentric woman who started a weekly newspaper with her grown son tapped me to work for her. At first I did everything but I stunk at selling advertisements so I stuck to reporting. In the newsroom, my nickname soon became "Front Page." I covered school board meetings, local crime (the most fun I hate to admit), and local politics. I can not describe how much I felt at home in the newsroom. I owe a lot to my now deceased mentor. To make a long story a little shorter, I wound up working for a Pol in PR and Press relations. I daydreamed occasionally that I worked for one of the TV stations I dealt with writing news. Though that never happened, it wasn't a bad ambition to have. It kept me focused on what was important to write and occasionally spin.

Life can get in the way of our ambitions. I've often thought I never reached my potential because I have always been an "underachiever." But I think my point today is that I didn't do so poorly...I worked in a field I loved. As I watch the show, Newsroom, my pulse beats a little faster; a smile comes over my face even though serious topics are being discussed.

I come to life for that brief hour. For that time I am not worried about finances; nor am I torn between polygamy and my life with my biological family. I am not sad and I'm not lonely. I have no regret. It's my Calgon moment. It's wonderful!