My Old Blog :/

I received a comment today from an anonymous writer who asked for the link to my old blog at HBO.com. I would love to publish the link here but the problem is that the new HBO website seems to have either obliterated the blogs or hidden them very well :/

Should any of you have better luck navigating the new site or know how I can locate my blogs please let me know...sigh..it's 4 am I just noticed!

Dear HBO.COM and some real stuff

My heart is broken! The new website gives me no choice but to give away my identity to my family and friends and frankly that leaves me feeling I have to be careful of what I say. Plus they don't warn you until the end when you have to choose between three of THEIR suggestions, all of which contain either first name and last initial, first initial and last name or both names!! wth! grrrr withay where ever you are please tell me I'm wrong :) Plus I couldn't find a member created thread anywhere:/

I broke down last. At about 2 am I came out of my room and walked into Hubby and my office where #2 was sitting reading and Hubby was on the computer. I asked for a few minutes to talk to Hubby in private and then proceeded to cry uncontrollably and then Hubby called a family member who is a counselor and asked them to call the house. It was very helpful to talk to someone who had some understanding of my feelings. Of course unfortunately, this monopolized the rest of Hubby's night. I'm not sure if #2 was making a dig or not when she mentioned today that I had asked for a few minutes. Mind you, Tuesdays are Hubby's to do with as he pleases; Tuesday doesn't belong to any of the wives.

I think I am going to search poly blogs for posts about schedules...

Erratic sleep again.

Here it is 3 am. I woke up at 2:30 after a restless few hours of sleep. The youngest grandchild slept over and in my room again. But that's not why I was tossing. I had another reconstruction session today and though the pain from them has gotten more manageable it's still upsetting. But then I'm finding a lot to be upsetting lately. I think I need to start painting and freelancing again. If I only had the concentration.

I was reading Ana's post on the wife number. I really enjoy her blog Polygamy 411, and highly recommend it. If anyone knows of a good poly blog written by a man please let me know. I miss reading Hidden Sage's and a couple of others that seem to have gone by the wayside. The man's perspective is so interesting.

Poly blog's are like a support group for me. It can get lonely living in a suburban, non sectarian plural family. For instance, Hubby called me his best friend the other day. What did he mean by that? It's nice to be someone's "best friend" but at this particular juncture in my life I would prefer to be called "lover." What can I say? Anyway, asking an acquaintance or friend who doesn't know my situation doesn't do the trick.

OMG BIG LOVE!

I cannot believe it but HBO has taken down the bulletin board for Big Love right after the season premiere! Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with people don't you?

I don't know if you have noticed but I tend to write this blog when my blood is boiling or when I'm less depressed. I've been really, really down lately even though my reconstruction is going as expected, tho painfully, and my hair is starting to grow in - itchy! I think I'm finally homesick for the east coast. Please note the word "coast". I truly don't know how folks live land-locked for all of their lives! I miss my kids too. I worry about them. And I miss somethings about my career and my friends. I miss peace and quiet and privacy. And I miss having an uninterrupted conversation. I miss the romance I had and the fun!

But right now I'm pissed at hbo.com!!!!! I really want to be talking about the show.

I guess I'm starting to feel better :)