Sunday, September 21, 2008

If a man needs 3 wives to get to the celestial kingdom, is that the right number?

How many wives should it take to make a man content and happy? I'm not a mormon and neither is anyone in our family, but it is a discussion we have occasionally. Hubby thinks 4 but then he'll turn around and agree that he couldn't handle a 4th lol. I think my question is really, why would a man even think about more wives? Hell, I wouldn't if I were a man.

Women are complicated people. Cliche as it sounds, men are from mars women are from venus. It takes practice understanding each other. It takes work keeping each other happy. Thus a husband with many wives has much to do.

I sometimes think Hubby could use a break. It's not just about sex this happiness thing either. 3rd lady touched on it in her blog recently. It's little things. Personalities. Emotional things. Time, togetherness. It's a demanding job.

#2 for all her faults believes in the marriage as a whole. She's probably right. And religious polygamists would surely agree with her most likely. Like tonight she wanted to have a night where all of us did something together. Unfortunately it's difficult to force that, and oops I fell asleep during the movie we were all watching!

I've heard people say that someday it will all come together and blend and we will find a rythmn to our collective marriage. Hopefully so. lol but each time a wife is added the rythmn becomes interrupted and the balance gets thrown off. So why continue to add?

Then there is the financial aspect. The time aspect, that damned calendar!

If you want my opinion and shush don't spread this around, two is the ideal number. Managable and not over done so to speak. But I"m a 3rd so I should just keep quiet on that one. The third, according to hubby and the rest of the family is supposed to create the balance emotionally. Lessen the burden on hubby to a degree. I sure hope I do that. But in my efforts to do that I find myself feeling edgy, sort of needing hugs a lot.

OUr 16 year old calls me the "cool" one. Not his Mom Mom, nor his #2 mom, just his new mom. Somehow he likes that. The oldest doesn't really like all these moms around I sense. He doesn't say it, but I think he is a born monogomist and will always be.

I think a 4th is too much to ask of the kids at this point. Perhaps if they were younger it would be different.

Anyway, I'm rambling ~ it's something I do when my mind bubbles with thoughts.

I put a poll up on the subject.


Hidden Sage said...

Interesting poll, I wonder what others have to say.
I’d go for three, but over a span of 5-7 years between 1st and 2nd, and 2nd and 3rd. By the time 3rd comes around, I’m that much wiser and have that much more to offer. Although having a 3rd would satisfy my need for variety (sounds bad but I don’t merely mean it in a physical sense) it would also be pretty exhausting, unless the 3rd is loved by the first two wives. I can’t imagine having a 4th at this age, I’d be emotionally, mentally, and financially drained. So a 2nd is great, a 3rd is ideal, and a 4th is…well, I’m not sure yet.

Anonymous said...

Curious as to what you mean when you say that a third wife balances the relationship emotionally and takes the pressure off the man. Thanks for the clarification.

new#3 said...

anonymous, what I mean is this:

two wives one husband = when a husband is with one of the wives and not the other, the other can get lonely, feel resentment and so forth. I believe that a third creates a more "balanced" feeling in the family. Maybe less resentment and jealousy. The family is larger, another adult adds to less of a burden on anyone person etc. I also think that there is less of a chance of the husband developing a clear favorite. The wives have less of his time as individuals but remember he does too. Is that any clearer for you? If not I'll try to explain further what I mean.

new#3 said...

oh also, anonymous, a third means fewer chores per person and more time for relaxations.