Saturday, December 17, 2011

Christmas and New Years

I've always had a hot and cold relationship with the Holidays. As a child I used to throw up every Christmas Eve...I guess the excitement. As a teenager and college student New Year's Eve was always a time of angst for me. I wasn't allowed to go out with friends or even to a house party. I was expected to stay home with the family. We had a party at home and it wasn't all misery but it usually had me either embarrassed or angry or resentful. My parent's home always looked so beautiful for Christmas. I always found it odd that once we all moved and especially after my Dad passed, she didn't fuss about Christmas at all.

As an adult, and a parent Christmas was a huge amount of work, but fun non-the-less. A shopper I'm not. Shopping to me is a headache, a chore tolerated for the children's sake. I did always enjoy decorating the tree and collected ornaments that hold a great deal of sentimental value. All of them are at hubby's house. I love driving around and looking at all the outdoor decorations. Always sad when their time is up and the outdoors goes back to looking bleak.

In my plural family, hubby makes a huge deal over Christmas, decorating to the nines, shopping, cooking, the works. I have to admit he does a great job. We all help where we can but he's definitely in charge of it. I always found that to be somewhat of a relief, no pressure put on me to make the perfect Christmas. The only challenge was getting used to new traditions and trying to blend my taste with my sister wive's tastes.

Here where I am, I'm just Grandma. Not in charge of anything and that's ok. Not great but ok. I have a little fake tree that I bought some cheap ornaments for, and my sister will make a nice Christmas for all of us I'm sure. New Year's Eve I will probably be alone or with one of my boys. Very low key.

I'm beginning to understand my mother more and more. I miss her.

In case I don't blog before the holiday gets here, I hope you all have a good one filled with love.


leah said...

We hope yours is filled with love too!

Older and Weiser said...

Sigh. I always loved Christmas, but Bud and ES said Christmas was for little kids, and neither of them wanted to do the tree or decorations anymore. We sold and gave away all our Christmas stuff, with the exception of a box of cherished ornaments my son made over the years.

Seasons change, as do traditions. I have no desire to ever do a tree again, though I did admire all the decorations at Essenhaus, an amish restaurant in Middlebury, IN. Pretty to look at, but not at our house.

I hope you have a good holiday. I know it will be different than those of past, but you will get to spend it with grandchildren who love you.

Sending warm wishes,


new#3 said...

Thank you both for the warm wishes. And thank you D for reminding me of what is most important :)

BorderCollie said...

Sounds like your childhood was normal. All fun and then so put upon to have to stay in your teen years. Then fun again, and then mostly the I don't care stage, except for seeing the joy of kids or the nice lights. My eyes aren't so good at night so I don't go around and look at lights so much anymore. Actually my night vision was always bad so didn't drive much at night, but now my husband's is too so I lost my driver. Well, a limo and chauffeur would be good.
We sure cut down on the amount of food needed, too. And I don't want to invite people over because then you feel like you have to make so much more and do so much pretty preparation. I turned down invitations to to other's house; one doesn't want the reputation of not reciprocating. The thing is, it just doesn't matter like it used to, and I think it's a fairly normal progression unless you are super outgoing and can't handle not being fussed with.
Wishing you fulfillment and joy.

new#3 said...

Merry Christmas BC :)