Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I should be stressed to the max...

Seriously, I should be biting my fingernails (not one of my vices thank goodness), or screaming, or burying myself in sleep, or spending mind numbing hours playing inane computer games, but I'm not.
1) I still haven't gotten back on depression meds or found a doctor here for primary care or cancer care, nor a dentist.
2) I'm far from what I have called home for several years and thus have few of the personal possessions I usually find comfort in. (books, trinkets, blankets, etc.)
3) I hate the weather here, may as well live in England or Seattle it's rained so much.
4) I miss those grandbabies back there terribly.
5) I even miss hubby's jokes (but not his mood swings).
6) The lack of appropriate funds is getting on my nerves.
7) I'm living in someone else's home (maybe I got used to that being a poly wife and living the way we do.)
8) I miss my bed. Omg, my bed! When I was so terribly unhappy in my former marriage I spent the last several years of it sleeping on a small two cushion loveseat in my home office. Once I moved to my own apartment I had all second hand stuff except for my one splurge....my expensive (at least in my opinion) queen size mattress and box spring. It was heaven! Gone were my chronic morning back aches. While I still had intermittent insomnia, when I did sleep I slept like a baby with a full tummy and a dry diaper. When I moved across the country I sold or gave away all the hand me down furniture I had collected but I dragged that bed with me. :( I miss it. Is that silly?
9) I haven't spent this much time with my grown children in....YEARS...gosh more than the three and half years I have been living in the southwest. For some reason, my kids are stuck in their teenage years, or at least in my mind they are, and I fret and worry even more when they are close than when they are far away. Ok maybe it's equal, but not as intense.
10) I don't have enough clothes with me for this climate.
Anyway, I should be stressed to the max and totally out of my mind but for some odd reason I'm not. I think about this stuff but it's not driving me to the brink of anything. It could be simply because my life is so simple, I'm not sure.

1 comment:

Non-Traditional Polygamist Wife said...

It is odd when you should feel one way but feel another. I admit I just found your blog so I am unsure as to why you have moved, but I do hope all works out and the peace you are feeling continues