Monday, September 26, 2011

Sister Wives, the show and me

So...the new season of the TLC show Sister Wives started last night. For about a week or so, the Brown family, minus a pregnant Robin, made appearances on early morning talk/news shows and were the subject of commentary on other shows. I didn't pay much attention except I did get annoyed when a talk show host I otherwise admire made some derogatory comments like, "it's kind of disgusting" and such, and lumping the Browns and others like them in with the "bad" polys like the infamous compound in Texas. I couldn't believe it.
Let me just say this about the Browns. You should watch the show, even try to see the last season if possible on demand or however. It's so interesting! I remember feeling upset when they decided to add a 4th wife, but they handled it very well, and I got over my feeling that the others would have to sacrifice too much. The husband first of all, jeesh, I don't know where to start, but he should be cloned. He has faults I'm sure, and that is evident in the insecurities that were discussed when they were adding #4, but he is unbelievably fair. He has his struggles but he really seems to let the wives run the family in daily matters. Their original living arrangement was awesome! All three wives under one roof but separate apartments, which gave them dignity, respect and autonomy. By the way they did and still do now that they are in 4 separate homes, have an every 3/4 night rotation. The schedule I have always preferred, so everyone gets their chance at a Saturday night or whatever it is you want. Even. Fair.They don't discuss their sex lives at all but we know that means where he sleeps, and spends time.
I ADORE these people! They are far from disgusting! They are almost awe inspiring. They took a huge, perhaps unnecessary risk outing themselves on national TV and thus went under investigation in Utah. They are maybe a tad too idealistic. But they genuinely love and respect one another...really, you should check it out.

That said, I get to feeling a little bit wistful when I watch the Browns. I wish my life had turned out so peacefully and even keeled. There may be something to the notion of wives choosing the wives..Merri wife #1 grew up in polygamy and basically chose #2 who basically introduced everyone to #3 and then years later, Merri encouraged Kody to consider #4...she still felt jealous but it's worked itself out. Jealousy at the Browns as in I'm guessing other poly homes, is rarely if ever about sex..

Curious if any of you have watched and what you think..I'll admit it's a bit Polyannaish but I like it!


The Black Mamba said...

People often are judgmental of what they don't understand.

I watched an episode or two of the first season. I do like the way they lead their lives. They're doing what works for them. That's how all relationships should work and it's nobody's else's business. If people outside of their relationship don't like the set up, guess what? Don't become a polygamist! That simple. People often take personal offense to unconventional arrangements, which I never understood.

Though I am a polyamorist and not a polygamist, I like the face they are giving poly in general.

Stranger said...

I just recently came across this show and love it too. It makes me want to work harder at having a relationship with my co-wife as well I love that it pushes ppl in the West to confront their own ignorance and hypocrisy regarding relationships in the society. I mean, they arent disgusted at all about men/women commiting zina or having multiple partners but an unconventional marriage brings out such rage and disgust? Insane!

Older and Weiser said...

Haven't had cable or satellite in quite some time, so I have never had the opportunity to see it.

Anonymous said...

Sisterwives is fascinating to. I love the idea of a big family, more moms to help, however not sure I could get over the jealously thing.
I think the Browns should go back to living together, I am very worried about the kids being apart and Janelle seems so sad in the last show

~Rochester, NY

new#3 said...

I think you can watch episodes of the show on the internet.

Anonymous said...

I just have to tell you that this is my new favorite blog! I love it! Real people, real emotions, real challenges - REAL LIFE!!! I appreciate your openness, your honesty and the time you take to write this blog. It's so refreshing! I wish you and your family the very best.

new#3 said...

Thank you Anonymous...I hope you keep commenting and please read back to older posts to get some questions answered you may have. Would there be anyway you could change your posting name to Anonymous1 or 2 or a or b so I know it is you? lol There are just so many Anonymous' it's hard to differentiate.

Anonymous said...

Dear new#3,

In the future I will refer to myself as "Sam" to differentiate my posts from other "anonymous" people.

Yesterday I took time to read just about all of your previous posts. Fascinating! The Sister Wives show is intriguing but your blog is pretty darn good too. I'm hooked. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you and your family.

Best regards,

Anonymous said...

I love the show! Whats not to love. Super cute husband and lovely sister wives! I also love your blog. I'm in the process of catching up. I started reading before a major move and lack of internet caused me to fall behind. I just read your post about depression. I'm struggling with that as well. I've been on and off medication for years. I am currently not taking anything, but feeling quite teary about a lot of things. So I am trying to decide whether I should go back to my doctor to discuss the situation Perhaps there might be something new on the market.
Just a little background on myself. I am a very young 56 year old. 2 Adult Sons, 6 grandchildren and number 7 due in May. I am a devote Catholic Convert, but really like the idea of being a "SIster Wife"!! How can that be? lol Thanks for the blog! I love it! Cindy

Rev PG said...

I found your blog by happenstance whilst reading a blog about "Sister Wives". I'm probably not the typical viewer in that I'm a legally married gay woman and we've been together for 20 years (thank you Massachusetts).
I find the show kind of refreshing because I believe it's not about the sex, if that were true he wouldn't make the commitment to all of them.
I see distinct relationships between Kody and all of the wives. Sure they have their troubles like anyone but it's nice to see plural marriages in a positive light. There is far too much hate and fear about differences in my opinion.
I don't expect everyone to approve of how I live my life; but really at the end of the day my life as a responsible,working, productive member of society has no affect on anyone's else life. They just think it does. The Brown family has no affect on my life as they are consenting adults who seem to love each other and take care of their children. Kudos to them! If anything they have had a positive impact because they are so open.
Sorry I got a little off track there, too much caffeine! I enjoyed your comments on the other blog and am looking forward to reading more or your writing here. I find your openness wonderful and your responses fair and succinct.
I wish the "Sister Wives" only happiness. I don't understand if someone finds something so offensive that they just don't turn the channel. Why watch if you only see the negative. It doesn't make sense to me.
I began watching it to learn more about plural marriages. It's been very informative as are your comments. Thanks for being so informing. I'll be tuned in.

Rev PG said...

ps: Okay so when I wrote succinct I should have said "consise" as I see some of your posts are longer LOL. oops better break out the "Little Brown Handbook"

Anonymous said...

Dusk hates that show and neither of us like Kody. I wouldn't be surprised if the first wife ends up leaving and getting a divorce, she seems unhappy to me. I think Janelle is sad because she used to be a 'bread winnner' and now can't work. The kids are suffering because Utah is unfairly prosecuting them but I don't know what they expected when they went public with their lifestyle knowing it was illegal. At the same time in order for polygamy to become legal in this country we need polygamous families to speak up and risk going to jail and their kids being thrown to the wolves (i.e. CPS and foster care), otherwise it will never become legal and polyagmous families will have to keep living in secret. Dusk didn't like the way Kody was tsreating his wives and kept commenting about how what Kody is doing isn't like our marriage and what our religion orders a man when he wants to be polygamous which is why so few Muslim men engage in polygamy even though it is lawful for men in our religion. I think Kody is favoring Robyn over his other three wives because she is A. Skinnier than the other three, B. is younger, and C. is pregnant. I think it is sad that they have to be split up and had to leave Utah because when most 'normal' people think of polyagmy they think of marrying off children (keeping in mind that some cultures see children as adults when they hit puberty so they are able to legally marry if they choose to do so) and think that polygamy 'hurts women' not realizing that there are women who CHOSE this lifestyle and are HAPPY WITH IT *gasp*! Hopefully this show will help people open their minds and not be so damn judgmental towards polygamists.

Anonymous said...

The show where their teenage kids visited the youth leaving the FLDS group was really great. The FLDS escapees were really negative about polygyny, but when they visited the Browns for a couple days they were just amazed that Kody was an involved and loving father, and there was loving harmony between the wives. They were just shocked. Since the media has been so full of coverage of the FLDS group, and its offenses, this interaction was very informative.


Anonymous said...

I absolutely love the show and have lately been researching and soul searching bc I really feel that the lifestyle is the best one for me and I was so glad when the show came on a shed such a beautiful light on plural marriage. I have been courting a man lately who currently has only one wife and she has been having doubts about beginning this journey. How does a person go about introducing the idea to someone who was not raised in our environment. She is great and I know she would be a great partner but how do I get her to understand that I want the family not just the hubby?

Thanks so much!