Wednesday, October 7, 2009

An Old Dog's Tricks

Cancer news:

I had my 2nd treatment a week ago this past Tuesday and once again my white blood cells have bottomed out right on schedule. No raw veggies, no pets/animals, no young children, no crowds and a slew of other restrictions. This time no Nupegen shots just antibiotics. Lots of fatigue but no rashes or anything so I consider myself lucky.

Normal News

Life here on what we affectionately call The Compound is back to normal now that summer is done. Summer is my very favorite season, even in Texas where it gets desert hot and dry. For us, autumn means less company coming over and more peace and quiet. #1 has struck up a friendship with my middle sister, the one that was here for my surgery. #2 has behaved better lol. Sorry but tis true. I have discovered since my illness that she means well for the most part. She is still overly chatty but I'm learning to tune her out. It only took a year and a half! Hubby has been great lately :)
Do I still yearn for my own living room and bathroom? Of course! I don't think that will ever change but I have grown to accept how polygamy works here finally. I think there would be less stress if we each had her own house but I understand where Hubby is coming from when he says it would be too much of a change for the other wives. He's right! A quick history story:
A long while ago there was almost another #3. She came very close to it. There was the getting to know the whole family thing, etc. She lived in the next town and had no desire to move here, so they tried it. No dice! Apparently, #2 has always felt that 9 am is the bewitching hour for her day! I can laugh now but honestly it's not amusing. The new let's try being a sister wife would pick up hubby in the late afternoon/evening when she got done with work. At 9 am SHARP #2 would be at her door looking to pick hubby up! No coffee or breakfast together or anything. When you consider that hubby's normal bedtime is after 2 am this was a huge problem to the new gal. HUGE. It didn't matter that her house was a 20 minute drive away. She was not going to get a minute of his time past 9 am. Oh, and both #1 and #2 would have to call in their good nights. I know how she felt, it's very disconcerting. #2 has done that to me and I live under the same roof!

It is very, very difficult to change an old dog's tricks. Do you think it's possible?


CM said...

Honestly, I don't think so, but you could look up Pavlov's dog conditioning research to see if you can find some hints on what to try. lol

OK, now I have to ask! What is it about your husband that makes so many women put up with this stuff? All I got to say is that he must be something special or dang good looking! ;)

On a serious note - I hope you are feeling better. I get tired because of my insomnia probem but I am sure it is nothing compared to what you are going through. I hope you have some really good days ahead and can enjoy the fall and that each treatment gets easier for you.

3rd... said...

There have to be compelling events.. just by asking, or making an intention to change.. very hard I think!
But an event, like maybe the illness you are going through now, or a loss in the family (God forbid), I mean, big life-changing things - that tends to change a person..

new#3 said...

LOL CM. What is it about my husband? Nothing unusual I can assure you. He is very smart and charming; funny, sensitive and kind. He is a typical southern gentleman, polite as all get out. He's just nice. For me that was the ticket. #1 and #2 are totally besotted with him. I can fall asleep without the mushy good night. - If you know what I mean - He has tried to change #2's clinginess(sp?) to no avail, no amount of assurance seems to work. It is her nature to be insecure. I am the least "besotted" lol but I still love him to death! He's not perfect, but then neither am I.

Ana said...

Hi new#3,

For all it's worth, I don't think we can change our dispositions, constitutional makeup, or personalities. But I do think we can change things like drinking alcohol, gambling, drugging it, lying, stealing and things like that. For instance, I'm a night owl; I can't function in the am. I'm not a people person; I'm a more reserved, happy by myself person. I don't think I can change that.

I think if we look at ourselves, we'd notice that we are the same persons we were when we were children; we've only grown older in bodies.

I think you might have to resolve yourself to the fact that the clingy, mushy, talkative, irritating ways of second are here to stay :-)

It must be a good feeling for you not to be all mushy and gushy, vying for hubby attention...Yuk.

new#3, I really enjoy reading your writings. They're excellent. I believe you have so much to share of your life that would be beneficial to the MASSES, if you want to get it out there to them. Keep feeling better!

Anonymous said...

If this question is too personal, or disgusting, intimate, etc just say so and I will understand. Does the hubby take a shower after/before each wife? This is a concern of mine and I am wondering if anyone else has this same concern. I have read many pliggy blogs and I have not seen any mention of this.

Sorry for being so….rude?

A #1

Debra said...

Some traits are just ingrained--a part of who we are. And usually, giving up one trait means latching on to another.And the new found trait could be just as annoying, if not more so, than the last one! LOL

I agree with 3rd in that it takes a life altering event (like what you all are going through right now) to affect change. You are already noting changes, some subtle and some not so subtle.

You seem to be the most adaptable, and that has been a blessing for hubby. And while separate houses may sound appealing (trust me when I say that I thought about that one a LOT), in the end, one of the biggest joys of poly is the bonding with sisterwives. It can make you want to scream and pull your hair out, but other times, you wouldn't trade your chosen path for all the tea in China.

Enjoy your ride, sweetie. I hope the treatments get easier for you. Right now, they sound like a major pain in the arse!

Big supportive hugs,


new#3 said...

Anonymous - that is a personal question that I will answer with - what do you think?

I mean really, it's not rude, but is it your business? Take a look at Big Love..that poor man is ALWAYS in the shower!