Sunday, October 18, 2009

Ramblings on stuff like FLEXIBILITY and sharing...

This time (2nd chemo treatment) not only did my blood count go south but I ran a temp so Hubby had to take me on doctor's orders to the ER. I wound up spending 5 days in the hospital. All's better now, for now and I finally have the strength to write.

I've been spending some time reading poly blogs (not always commenting sorry) and I can't help but think what a variety of people we are. How diverse our situations are and how differently we cope.

I was particularly touched by 3rd's latest post about Boss Baby. I hate to say it but it seems as though her Mr Hubby might actually be relieved of a burden should BB actually leave. I have a lack of empathy for her. I mean, I would never agree to be in a marriage where I only saw Hubby once a week! BB agreed to the situation, so should she be unhappy enough to leave then so be it. Hopefully, 3rd will get her day!

Is that mean of me? No, I don't think so. See, poly marriage is sooo complicated. One knows going in that sharing a husband is the concept, but in reality it can feel very lonely at times. Even though I would prefer to live in my own house, at least all under one roof we all at least get to talk to Hubby every day. And yes, sigh, we get to work out our difficulties with sister wives on a daily basis. There are times it's sort of like being in a constant "group therapy" mode. It's work but it can be rewarding. I often wonder what it would be like only seeing Hubby once or twice a week. What if I had an emergency, medical or otherwise? I think the living situation on Big Love is ideal, but how many people can afford all those houses? And yes, even all in one house it's possible to feel lonely. Loneliness arrives at the darnedest times; like in the middle of the night when there's nothing to be done about it.

Flexibility is something that one needs in spades in polygamy. Someone commented to me that I seem to be the most adaptable of the three wives in this house. I took it as a compliment but honestly it can be a curse at times. Here I sit today, my day, waiting for Hubby and #1 to come home from visiting their son in the hospital. Do I resent it? NO NOT AT ALL...on the other hand, it's obvious they went out to eat afterwards, and I am having Ramen noodles for lunch lol..Seriously though, I think perhaps 3rd's BB is lacking in flexibility. As is my #2. It makes life in polygamy that much more difficult for them. So, I'm glad I have at least some of it myself.

6 comments:

3rd... said...

:) your rant made me smile

(I am not hoping she leaves.. I am hoping she betters herself through this experience, and becomes a nices sisterwife)

leah said...

So Sorry to hear about your stay in the hospital! Sounds like not much fun. I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you are back at home.
You are starting to sound more like yourself (which I think is good). I cannot wait until we have BL to bond over again.

aminaspolyblog said...

I'm glad you are better. I'm sorry you have to go through this. My mom is going through chemo now, she has cervical cancer :(.

Anonymous said...

plz update us soon. I am really worried about you!

serendipityjane said...

I am grateful :)