Saturday, February 28, 2009


Our hubby has not one, two or three anniversaries to remember but 4! We have our individual anniversary - #1 their original wedding day. #2 I think it's the day they commerate her joining the family. #3 (me) The day we met. #4!!! The day I officially joined the family and we had a collective ceremony. The other day was my personal anniversary. And it was lovely!

Hubby surprised me with breakfast in bed, then we went out for a very extravagent and wonderful dinner in a romantic spot. When we got home, we had cake with the grandkids and kids and sister wives. He also had flowers delivered to our home.

He is very good at special days. I'm not. :( I always seem to botch them in some way and never really know what to do, if a gift is appropriate or all that.

Yes, yes, there were moments that tugged me back to the can guess what they were, I don't want to spoil my mood. But it really was a lovely day and it happened to fall on my usual day so there wasn't any switching around or anything. thankfully because it's always a hassle when we do that.

Other good news:
#2 if finally back to work - she was laid off for two whole weeks!
I seem to be getting along with the teenagers somewhat better!
I've been here 11 months and I think the worst of the adjustment period is over!

Interesting note:
The 16 yr old son woke me up during a nap before dinner on my anniversary night with a startling question: "Do you think it's right for Dad to kiss #2 on your Anniversary day?" wow
THAT was out of the blue. I think I said something like well that depends why? And he said something like, well I don't. And he walked out of my room!! Turns out he also confronted his dad with that question!!!
Hubby tried to explain to him that he would never reject affection from his wives and that there was nothing wrong with an affectionate kiss on anyone's day. I explained to hubby that probably the question arose because #2 is KISSY very frequently and it amuses us all to an extent and it also is odd given the length of their relationship...of course he responded that we all hug him or vice versa any day but that #2 was just expressing her insecurities on my special day as per usual and I didn't seem so upset about it, why should it upset his son? hmmmm


Anonymous said...

It seems to me that the 16 yr old is having a hard time reconciling the true nature of the domestic situation, thus the compartmentalizing of his father's relationships with each one of the wives.

I think it would be prudent for you all to sit down with him and see what's going on in his head and if he's experiencing any discomfort with the home life.

It's been my experience that teenagers don't feel they have a voice when it comes to the SO's of one of their parental units and therefore don't feel they have a chance/right to voice their desire's or concerns regarding the living arragements.

Please don't be ostriches and not reach out to him and see if he's truly okay with the dynamics of his home environment.

new#3 said...

thanks for the advice. We've been doing some of that this weekend as a matter of fact. I think part of it is a manifestation of his years, his being a high school student and his having his first girlfriend...He's never known any other lifestyle but I think his romance has him thinking about it and questioning.

Anonymous said...

However, from a different perspective maybe the teenagers reaction shows maturity on his part. While there may be nothing wrong with sharing affection with the other wives every day, there is a level of respect that should come from the husband and other wives. An anniversary is a celebration and a special day for you. Out of respect it would be nice for the others to make it a very special day for you. I am not saying that your husband should not show affection for the other wives on that day, but could it not be done privately out of everyone's view? Would that not show to you (and the son) that they love you enough to keep it your special day?

Perhaps the 16 year old is smarter than the father on this issue.

Just a thought.


new#3 said...

Anonymous lol the 16 year old is DEFINITELY Not smarter than the father...take my word for that! The problem as I have slowly come to realize is that pda didn't affect #1 like it did me and they all (who outnumber me btw) were used to doing that, living that way. So therefore the problem or what I saw to be a problem was for me to deal with. Anyway, all affection isn't sexual that is an important thing to remember :D And when I'm the recipient I enjoy it as much as anyone else lol

new#3 said...

oops another thing to remember is that not everyone is polygamous by nature or heart, that's something that can be difficult to explain to a teenager who isn't if you get what I mean.