Thursday, December 18, 2008


This is the second Christmas I'm not in my old home town with family and friends. My fourth Christmas not spent with my entire family, and for some reason this is the worst one yet.
We are all getting along famously here so that's not it. The only one criticising the way I do things is you know who, and I can't help that. I'm just sitting here wondering when I will if ever have the money to send for my children for the Holidays, or when will I ever get back there for a holiday, or when I will get used to being part of a new family. You see everything isn't always about polygamy. Sometimes it's just about a new marriage. Hubby god bless him is very good at holidays, if he weren't I would be miserable. He has one steadfast arguing or fighting during holiday it's wonderful. :)

I got most of my gifts mailed off so that's a good thing.

Melting into a new family sucks frankly. It's difficult but it's coming along. The second son, the high schooler I think is back in my court and has come to realize why he liked me in the first place. He is the one with all the poly questions. The other night he asked us the adults to all turn off the tv to ask us a question. He said his girlfriend wanted to know if any of us ever wished we were the only wife. #2 said sometimes, #1 was already asleep in their room, and I said nothing. He continued to say that his gf hopes he doesn't ever want to be polygamous and he told her NEVER! lol..

Oldest son well, he resents another person coming between he and his dad, another woman to compete for his dads attention or conversation.

Middle son could care less lol

The grandbabies feel like they are mine but I still miss the biological ones big time. I miss staying up all night and talking with my oldest kid, I miss my youngest's hugs. Heck I even miss his bitchy wife sometimes. lol

The friend issue is so unresolved. I've never had so few friends outside family. It feels unreal but I think it's a tough thing to make and keep friends in this situation other than job place friends. #1 comes close to being like a friend and a sister. #2 doesn't understand that if all she lives and breathes for is hubby than how can we be like sisters or best friends? Does anyone else find that kind of thing troublesome to them in their plural marriage?
Don't get me wrong, out of everyone I am closest to hubby and love him to death..but I'm used to having gfs to confide in, shop with, even watch tv with, have a glass of wine and be girly with.

Ah, the Holidays. They get you thinking and sometimes even a bit melancholy. But we can't live without them.


UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

I know what you mean...I have no friends here...I mean I have one but if I want to go to her house I feel obligated to invite CW along as well, I know that sounds messed up but its weird. She has all of her family here but me I got no one, not even hubby, considering he is back in the US. He should be coming soon but that doesn't change the fact that I have no one to confide in. I have online friends but it is not the same as going out for a cup of coffee...My bestest friend is an online friend.... I would give anything to meet her in person....

Hidden Sage said...

Hmm. That's tough. Personally, if I were in a situation where I didn't have any friends around, I'd go out and just get to know random people. If you're not used to just going out there and meeting people it probably sounds tough, but it isn't all that bad.

Why don't you take a two week course, such as painting, that would get you started on new hobbies/skills and would allow you to make friends that much quicker and easier. You'd have:
1) Established shared experiences with this new friend(s) and
2) have at least one common hobby.


new#3 said...

Thank you both! I too have found I have come to rely on my online friends more than usual lately. i feel for you, at least my hubby is right here..

HS - that is the single best piece of advice I have received since moving here! thank you!..It's even better than the part time job idea..after a job you don't always find people you share anything in common with but the job. Painting! Writing! A book club! Something new and different perhaps..I will definitely be looking for something along the lines of a class right after the New Year :)

Happy Holidays everyone!