Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Blogging Issues

I haven't posted in almost a month, not because I've had nothing to say, but more because I find it hard lately to choose where to start, or what topic to choose. Also there is the issue of comments.

Sometimes I get what I consider to be quite a few comments. Yay, someone is reading! Then other times no comments at all. Boo! No one likes me so why bloggers are sensitive people!

The worst however are the comments I don't want to publish. Go ahead and criticize me if that is what floats your boat. Tell me that you think this lifestyle is nuts, too hard, not for you, goes against your religious beliefs, makes you skeeve etc. Tell me you think I'm an idiot even. But please don't degrade others who read and comment here. That's a no no. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and beliefs in my book.

Then, recently, I got a very nasty comment that I rejected w/o thought. It was unnecessarily rude and borderline obscene. Basically it was this:

"Do you enjoy sharing a penis?" This was written by anonymous, of course.

Now you say, why share it now? Mostly because I am illustrating the type of comment that will be rejected. But there is something else.

Polygamy isn't about sex. As a matter of fact, of all my three marriages I've had since a young woman, this is the least amount of sex I've ever had.

Polygamy is mostly about our family. The blending of our families. It is about taking care of the children and fostering a home filled with love and compassion. The adults here all probably go out far less than in monogamous families. There is always someone home except on rare occasion.

Polygamy is about love, not lust, and not religion at least not in this family. It is about loving a man enough to share him. Some of you may not understand that.

In my case, polygamy is about coming to a point in my life where I don't need a husband all to myself to have on my arm like a trophy. I don't need to have a husband to define my identity.

Is it always easy? No. As a person I once admired often said, If it were easy, everyone would do it.
Is it always fun? Hell no. But often times it is.
Is it always peaceful. Ha Ha Ha! Only today when someone went to move one of the cars and found that another person had carelessly forgotton to put away a tarp and left it beside it beside the car and under one wheel - they discovered one of the cats in the process of giving birth inside the tarp and behind a wheel. There are many times I look at hubby and remark...You couldn't make this stuff up, we should be a bad sitcom :) Funny times, remarkable times, loud times and sometimes sad times. We juggle time, meals, the bathrooms, the television, the nights out. We are not always disciplined. And sometimes someone will be brought to tears out of frustration, other times out of joy.

We are not unlike every family except if we all want to go to Six Flags at once,'s sitcom time!

So dear anonymous reader,

If you choose to be vulgar, degrading or anything similar, your comment won't be published. If you choose to use my page to insult one of my readers, you won't be published. It's that simple.

I'm sorry if repeating the latest rude comment has offended anyone but I figure we are adults and have heard that word before.


Hidden Sage said...

I'm always reading :-)

Blog on! I enjoy reading your entries

Anonymous said...

I believe there are additional issues that motivated you to participate in a plural marriage. Considering your age (55-60??) and being retired I wonder if the prospect of lonliness and limited resources didn't play into your decision. Most people don't like to live alone or struggle financially.

I suspect that in a perfect world you would prefer to be in a monogamous relationship, but doing it this way you kill two birds with one stone - you get the security of having people around you all the time, additional resources, and you get to spend some time with a man that you care about.

Meggin said...

I'm sorry that some people are such jerks - not quite a strong enough word! I'm also always reading even though I don't always comment. I often wonder why those people who have nothing nice to say even bother to read about something that is obviously distasteful to them. Perhaps they just like to be rude and enjoy stirring up hard feelings. Those same people often claim to be christians - and their comments aren't very christian are they?

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

Anonymous' love to post nasty things cuz they can use the cover of anonymous...

Deb said...

I check your blog daily. I'm sorry I don't often comment. I'm sorry you have to read such nasty comments. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

Dee and Elijah Sue said...

So well put. I konw people are entitled to their opinions, but the name of your blog is not "Please Bash Me and My Family For Our Chosen Path in Life".

And Meggin is right--most of the "bashers" and "pot-stirrers" post anonymously. So you can have 3 or 4 pot stirrers, but you can't differentiate them. Then you go to respond to them, put you have to respond to them as a collective, because can't tell one from the other!

And the really funny part is when "anonymous" gets offended, because you are responding to one anonymous and they think you are responding to them!" It is so messed up.

One person who always post anonymously got self-righteous about everyone on the net is anonymous. True, but at least we have picked out pseudonyms for ourselves. When Hidden Sage posts, I know it is Hiddden Sage making the comment, and hidden sage I am responding to.

Even positive comments from an anonymous person can be confusing. On one blog, there were several anonymous people posting, and all were being nasty, judgemental and sanctimonious. But one person posted anonymously who was very kind. They said while they didn't understand a person's desire to live polygamously, they didn't stand in judgement, just curiosity.

The blog owner thanked that person for visiting her blog and posting, and for not making judgements.

Immediately, another anonymous posted and started breathing fire and brimstone about how they most certainly did not say such a thing, and that God would be the final judge (basically telling them they would all burn in Hell).

The blog owner had to post another post saying, sorry, anonymous, I didn't mean to offend your besmear your righteous superiority. I was responding to the other anonymous who isn't a crazy psychopath....

As the owner of this blog, of course you have the right to modify the content. Some people are just blatantly offensive and spout garbage. (do they kiss there mama's with those mouths?)

Anywhoooo, down off my soapbox. Like hidden sage said, "blog on!"


The Pastoral Princess said...

Just because there aren't comments doesn't mean there aren't readers. You should get a Feedjit! (see my blog)

Many people don't comment because they have nothing to add, they just simply enjoy reading.

S. E. Jihad Levine "Sister Safiyyah" said...

I'm so sorry that you have to read that nastiness. Some people have nothing better to do :( I hope you can read just enough to know when to hit the reject button. Keep blogging your journey; I am sure that it helps others.

3rd... said...

Ideed.. comments does not equal readers, and I think you should publish all the comments. There are people in this world who percieve us like that, and it's best to know exactly how they think.

Sakeena said...

thats so mean, and uncalled for :(.
Polygamy seems a lot harder than most think.

Anonymous said...

am a constant reader of your blog entries

your writing shows life is not just sex but to live amicably with fellow passengers

the vaccuum in life is being filled up with love and compassion :)

Rachel said...

Were the cats alright (have to ask)? :-)