Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Not quite farewell.

It's been a year now....It actually went faster than I thought this being away from my poly family.

Things aren't perfect here where I am at the moment either...nothing is perfect, you would think by this ripe old age I would know that! I am planning a trip back home hopefully this Fall...wish me luck!

I'm thinking of starting a new blog, since I have little to say about polygamy at the moment. I never really advocated nor did I ever feel disdain for polygamy/plural marriage. I just accepted it as a viable alternative lifestyle and for some people a religious belief. This has just been about my journey. The best and the worst of it.

I wish I was happier with the lifestyle. It could suit me so well as I like my independence and alone time...but that's not what my experience brought to the table. I am envious of those of you who have that experience, and of those of you who don't but at least have what you want.

My problem as the father of my children reminded me a couple of weeks ago, is that I've never been the submissive type...yes, he actually said that because I disagreed with something he said about the kids...but it applies to the experience I have in a plural marriage. Not that hubby ever expected me to be that way, but he did expect me to fall in line with the others when suitable. Hard to explain really. I think the hardest thing for me though is putting up and living within the same walls as sister wives. It just rubs me the wrong way I guess...I often say to them: I've had the college (and high school) dormitory experience long ago. This is way too much like that. I need a kitchen of my own, a bathroom of my own, I'm older and sharing space is not an agreeable option for me. Sigh. Oh well. They just don't get that. My sister wives are very much the sacrificing type...or is it just that all of the people in that house with the exception of hubby are their blood? I, on the other hand, have always been the outsider.

I don't know what the future will bring but I'm not sure I see the point of writing about this experience any more.

I congratulate D for writing her book! I feel joyous for her. It's something I always contemplated doing, whether about polygamy or something else...life always got in the way for me.

Ana, you are amazing! Your wisdom has been very appreciated.

BC, I worry about you and hope your life gets better.

To L and M....I love reading about your life your ups and downs and hope everyone is happy...I will continue reading.

Until I find my way to the authorship of another blog I will drop in here and say hello, perhaps with some updates.

7 comments:

Older and Weiser said...

Oh, it makes me so sad that you will not be posting about your journey. It is hard to believe it has been a year already since you left you poly family to be with your family.

You have been through so much! I hope you choose to continue blogging--if not here, than please, let me know. I enjoy your posts, and I feel like I have come to know you over the years.

Sending hugs your way, my dear.

~D

Border Collie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Border Collie said...

I tried several times to post and tried each time several times but never could get the words and numbers right. So I tried the best way I knew to email and don't know if you got it. Am using an iPad till I get my. Computer back so typing is bad. PLEASE keep up the blog. I miss you already. You can even tell me how to do a bl og and I'll do one. I love your stuff here and your comments on older and wiser and nontraditionals blogs. After all I'm not a poly at all and never have been one. My curiosity was the women being able to live like the nuns, hard as it was, but I see it is not that way at all. Sister wives blogspot confirms this. But I feel a kinship now with you and l and older and wiser. Now isn't that just a kick? I finally called l and left condolences about the dog beca use of the letters and n umbers verification problem. Hope this goes thru. I am Mickie and my email can be sent to you if you'd like I'd love to have yours. I live in calif btw. Do hope this finally gets verified.

new#3 said...

I haven't decided how to start another blog or even if that's the course I should take...I will visit here and respond etc. I will visit the blogs I follow here too. It's just that I have nothing new to say about polygamy or my experience right now.

Thank you both for your kindness. I do consider you my friends and will keep in touch.

Older and Weiser said...

BC, good to see you posting, even if it is on an iPad. I am glad that Ron is home again. You sure have been put through the emotional and physical wringer!

As you, we love our dogs. They are our furry kids. They each have such distinct personalities!

I feel like you and #3 are my cyber sisters, and I always look forward to the updates.

Hugs!

~D

new#3 said...
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Iwishiweremartha said...

I just found this blog today, and I read the whole thing.
I hope that you'll either keep writing here or post the new site so we can follow you there.
Thank you for being so candid. You were very transparent and I'm very impressed by you and your journey.