Good news and conflicts I think about constantly

Some good news...I am painting again. Completed two new paintings and gave them away. I wasn't very thrilled about them because they were in a new medium for me, acrylics, but the people I gave them to liked them so voila, instant gift! D asked to see some of my work, as soon as I can figure that out I will share. Some not so good not so sure news...I still don't know when I will be returning to Hubby's house. It's a huge distance and I do miss the family, but not all the confusion to be honest. I find I miss Hubby's friendship and companionship, oddly enough most often when I am watching tv alone at night. I miss the grandchildren tremendously. My conflicts are too many and too confusing to list here in full but I know for certain what some of them are. My biological family. They really don't want me to go back except to pick up my things, which would be an enormous project. And very, very emotional. As I get older conflict is not something I look forward to. But I do miss some of my things, particularly books and photographs. I have become very attached to the grandchildren here. At the point at which I left our finances were strained in that we were all living pay check to pay check, and not always so well. I brought half my income here so that I can exist, but I find more and more that it isn't enough. Easy solution would be to go back, a much more difficult would be to take more money from the family pot. In a way I'm not sure that's fair to them since they are going through some major financial problems at the moment. #2 lost her job and hasn't found a new one! The eldest son needs surgery and can't go back to work until that is finished and he goes through rehab. The conflict? One of my sons is out of work, the one with a family. It is super expensive to live here. I feel, perhaps irrationally, very torn up inside about all this. Another problem that has multiple facets to it is the state of our marriage....see? I could go on and on.... More good news is that the coldest of the weather seems to be gone. Spring, my second favorite season, is here! I haven't started keeping a daily journal again...I don't know why. And I haven't gone back to writing for the website I used to write for, again, not sure why that is. I wish some of my favorites like NTPW/H and Older/Wiser would start blogging again, I miss reading them. And BC, you should really start a blog!

Writing and Painting

I used to think I couldn't paint...well I can't lol very well...but it is the hobby I took up when I moved to Hubby's part of the world, as a way of meeting people etc. I believe Hidden Sage first suggested it. I met this group of women roughly my age who while I didn't have a hell of a lot in common with them, I liked them. Of course, the friendships only went so far as I didn't feel I could share my lifestyle choice with them, but in a way I miss them. And I missed the painting so I've begun to pick it up again, it relaxes me. It has taken the place of my writing for the most part. Writing is more disciplined and exact, and my concentration isn't great at the moment.

I admire those who can just sit down and write. I need either inspiration or an assignment...and I have neither right now. This blog has taken the place of a journal. Unfortunately, it's not daily. I think it would be even more boring to people than it is now, if I were to start blogging every single day. So...where is my notebook? lol