I'm so MAD because this isn't the first time I've run into this problem of doctors or nurses being ill prepared to take care of me because of the lymphedemia. Even in the Cancer Center I went to for all my treatments, the lab insisted on taking blood from my so called good arm. Luckily by the time my real good arm went bad the blood work was less frequent. But seriously, how can it be such a problem!!!? Why can't they just adjust and use my leg? I'll tell you why. Because if you've never had Lymphedemia, you can't understand how serious it is or how painful it is. It just looks like a little swelling. And even if you're a doctor, if you aren't a doctor that specifically treats lymphedemia (there is no such thing, doctors refer you to a physical therapy clinic, that's how they treat it, that and compression sleeves and gloves...really attractive btw), you apparently just don't know. Ugh. So aggravating.
All of this just served to remind me of all that has gone on in the past with my treatment of breast cancer. The endless doctor visits...all but the first few I did on my own by myself. Which in turn reminded me of the biggest problem in my marriage.......a problem that has little or nothing to do with polygamy. The fact that I felt so damn alone during that time. So unmarried. So friendless. So adrift. So freaking scared. Eventually, I ceased caring what I even looked like. I really didn't think anyone was ever looking at me. I never was one for a lot of makeup and trust me, cancer patients need make up like fish need water.
I'm sorry this is such a venting post. I'm just feeling very down, very confused and very angry .. mostly at myself.