I really hate coming here to complain, but this is the only place where anyone would truly understand. I just don't feel right in a plural marriage at this point :/
It's the sister-wives. I've tried I think to empathize with them; to not interfere too much in their lives; and to be a friend to them. It's not working.
I've said before that I love #1. She is a trooper. She's loyal and steadfast and dependable. I don't know what I would have done without her after my surgery. I love her for accepting me and for being there for me. But...there is only one way to say it, she's gotten on my nerves of late. I'm starting to see the traits, after 2 years, that hubby used to talk about. She has taken to being a tad bossy and seems to lurk so that there is no chance for private talk in this house. Plus she calls the house roughly 12 times a day, sometimes more!!!! Ok so all of that isn't really that bad when I see it in print lol..
#2 is another story and frankly it's not ever going to change. She says she has tried to give me privacy with hubby. She claims she has accepted me...not. And her overt shows of PDA have lessened but just barely. The problem is two-fold. One, just her personality is irritating. By that I mean her lack of understanding and basic intelligence. Her life is all about her husband, our husband. She has nothing else, no friends outside the marriage and a job she dislikes and is always on the verge of losing. She's annoying in the way she repeats stories from her high-school days constantly and thinks she's an expert in everything - a quality that is laughable at best. Sorry to be mean but it's how I see it. While we get along better than we did in the past, I don't honestly see how we have achieved that. Second, I believe she really lives in her fantasy of the perfect white picket fence monogamous marriage..it's soooooo pitiful. Now, she has taken to once again complain about things that have to do with #1 and me to hubby behind our backs. ugh!! I hate that. Horrible to say, but it seems like he takes her word for it all the time because she gives off this religious, happy go lucky face all the time that you wouldn't think she was capable of deceit, or manipulation but trust me she is. Her latest thing is that #1 complains that #2 doesn't do enough around the house, so she complains that I don't do anything around the house. I will admit that I could do more and I did at first, until it got to be a thorn in my side. I, after all, did not raise the messy children, nor did I organize this household. Therefore I stick to certain chores. I do household laundry when it needs to be done, we all pitch in with that. I cook every other night except when I was at my sickest and couldn't. I do dishes when needed, I straighten and vacuum the living room and I clean up after myself as well as the grandkids when I'm taking care of them. Silly as it may seem I don't see why the other two feel that because they work outside the house they should be exempt from cleaning chores. We had a casual agreement that #2 would do the floors and the bathrooms. #1 would help with household laundry and dishes. And the last one to eat dinner (unfortunately for her usually #2) would put up the food for the night; finish loading and start dishwasher. Oh well.
All this brings me to today, my day - one of two. Hubby has had the stomach virus going around the family for the past three days. Apparently he felt hungry very early this morning and had #2 make him an egg!! Well what do you know? He got sick to his stomach again! Consequently, he has been in bed all day. Their bed. And she didn't leave his side until the very last minute she had to leave for work this afternoon, including giving him a sponge bath!! I felt like I was allowed to make him tea, and whipped up some jello for later. I was going to offer to draw him a bath after she left for work but... My point is, I feel totally unnecessary here, obsolete. That's really the brunt of my complaint. And I'm having a difficult time with it because it's something I have felt off and on since I got here. Oh and to top it off, #1 insists on taking him to the emergency room when she gets home in a little while.
I'm still longing for my own home. Something I feel everyone grown woman deserves.