tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2701988733209546782012-01-30T14:30:52.175-08:00new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.comBlogger901100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-69870662443720160582012-01-26T10:58:00.000-08:002012-01-26T11:14:26.403-08:00

I wasn't able to fly home for my 6 month check up with my oncologist, so I found one here...It was kind of weird going to a different doctor but I did it yesterday. Somehow this feels like an accomplishment :) I didn't fly for several reasons, the two most important: 1) It was too expensive. and 2) I was nervous about it. It seems like I've been gone so long...I am worried about my relationship

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-1353201797351944642012-01-15T08:51:00.000-08:002012-01-15T09:23:18.131-08:00

Politically I guess you would say I'm a liberal Democrat...to some that would seem a contradiction to plural marriage. To me it makes sense. Political conservatives (and most Republicans) are not in my humble opinion socially inclusive. Most don't believe gays should marry, or adopt, or in some cases even exist. Polygamy? Plural marriage? Alternative life styles are not their cup of tea. Which

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-38706429902233471912012-01-07T09:44:00.000-08:002012-01-07T10:07:06.363-08:00

I haven't written here in a while mostly because I was feeling like I was whining too much. But I have something I would like to share.I'm not a HUGE fan of Oprah Winfrey but occasionally she does something that strikes a chord in me. She has started a new show on her network OWN, called The Next Chapter. Her first show was a two hour long interview with rock icon Steven Tyler at his home in New

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-88160253514420167492011-12-17T16:11:00.000-08:002011-12-17T16:59:39.183-08:00

I've always had a hot and cold relationship with the Holidays. As a child I used to throw up every Christmas Eve...I guess the excitement. As a teenager and college student New Year's Eve was always a time of angst for me. I wasn't allowed to go out with friends or even to a house party. I was expected to stay home with the family. We had a party at home and it wasn't all misery but it usually

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-45809570704320381852011-12-13T10:22:00.000-08:002011-12-13T10:38:39.404-08:00

This little rant may sound crazy if it's misunderstood but here goes~I am horrified by the amount of child abuse in this country and for all I know elsewhere in the world. The number of children sexually abused; physically abused; neglected and/or murdered is astounding! Some days it almost seems that that is all there is on the news. The mental illness that precipitates these actions boggles the

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-501577997678489082011-12-11T10:12:00.000-08:002011-12-11T10:32:02.168-08:00

Well, if you don't already know, I moved from Hubby's home more than 1600 miles to my sister's home to be closer to my kids, particularly the youngest who is ill, needs my help and who has given me the most amazing grandchildren. My boys (young men) and I are pretty close considering their gender. However, it's not the same as the daughter/mother thing I see with my sisters who have daughters.

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-88881323568722430442011-12-02T12:31:00.000-08:002011-12-02T12:51:14.009-08:00

I've watched the season finale of "Sister Wives" again, and I have to say as much as I admire the friendship between Meri and Robyn, I wish I could take more of a liking to Robyn. I wish I wasn't feeling unsettled about the Brown family, and disappointed in Kody.I totally understand Christine and even Janelle's hesitancy toward her. Christine admits it...she hasn't been totally welcoming to

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-37488932467108228582011-11-30T09:38:00.000-08:002011-11-30T09:53:36.333-08:00

I watched the Conrad Murray sentencing yesterday on live tv, by myself. Before I go any further let me say honestly that I'm a news junkie; a crime junkie; a political junkie; and I'm not ashamed. It's a habit, all this news watching that I got from my mother. It was reinforced with the advent of the 24 hour news cycle and accelerated during and after the 9/11 tragedy. It's something hubby and I

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-88808276504171357122011-11-21T08:31:00.000-08:002011-11-21T08:56:36.732-08:00

I am starting to miss the hustle and bustle of the holidays in our poly household. Hubby is really really good at holidays, as I've probably mentioned before. He, with the help of #1 and me, cooks up a storm. There is always a ton of leftovers. No bickering or fighting allowed, period. And just with the immediate family it's a crowd! When his brother, nieces and cousins join us like on

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-62625984927962966752011-11-19T17:45:00.000-08:002011-11-19T18:17:03.467-08:00

I finally found a primary care doctor here. That's the good news, because I have quite a few prescriptions. The bad news is doctors aren't always smart. I don't know if I mentioned it before but I have something called Lymphedemia. It's something breast cancer patients develop a good percentage of the time. It has to do with the removal of lymph nodes making the flow of blood up and down an arm

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-53720260765175394482011-11-14T08:08:00.000-08:002011-11-14T08:37:01.230-08:00

When I was at my worst phases of insomnia (hard to say, probably during menopause), I would lie awake most of the night unable to turn the "movie" off in my head. Those thoughts that keep going around and around inside your head - replays of the day; little aggravating thoughts about all kinds of things, not always so little; serious thoughts about finances, children, relationships - of course

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-21723190530581238222011-11-11T11:02:00.000-08:002011-11-11T11:14:41.033-08:00

Just returned to my sister's home from a brief trip to visit with a few old friends in my hometown. At first I was feeling awkward (I just have a "thing" I guess about staying in other's homes) but soon I was feeling just fine. The trip was precipitated by one friend's illness. Her sister arranged for a couple of us to visit to cheer her up. I really miss my old friends. Because I didn't raise my

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-12334713273691091522011-11-02T08:03:00.000-07:002011-11-02T08:21:00.503-07:00

Well...it's interesting - the mental/emotional differences between men and women. For instance a recent conversation with Hubby about his desire for me to return to the fold sooner than planned:We just need to argue less. That's more or less what he said. How can he honestly think that arguing was our biggest problem unless he is from Mars? There is nothing here in this blog that I haven't told

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-41854139669923689462011-10-29T12:20:00.000-07:002011-10-29T12:41:58.520-07:00

How true how true! It's just common sense isn't it? Or maybe John Lennon's mother was just very wise. I think she was on to something. How to obtain happiness is the question.Steve Jobs told everyone to "love what you do" or words to that effect. Love what you do for a living. Love your lifestyle choices. Love your home; love a hobby; etc. etc. Love and happiness should go together like peanut

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-26752572882056869232011-10-27T15:14:00.001-07:002011-10-27T15:31:27.108-07:00

I would like to recommend to new readers that they read the posts listed under "romance" especially, Love, romance and how I got here and Yesterday, everyday. I want you to know that my relationship with hubby wasn't always so sour. It was rooted in romance and an amazing love and respect for each other. Also, I knew about his being a polygamist before we ever met, actually from our first

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-82175012320365361312011-10-22T21:03:00.000-07:002011-10-22T21:39:12.137-07:00

Relationships with my kids, my grandkids, my sisters and with the family I've left behind for now, have been making me sad lately. I have been letting the guilt I feel when it comes to my kids get to me. I'm hoping it will pass as it usually does but to make matters worse Hubby all of a sudden seems to be missing me and pressuring me to come back. The holidays are approaching and he has a

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-88930620310243759532011-10-18T19:54:00.001-07:002011-10-20T10:31:25.647-07:00

Seriously, I should be biting my fingernails (not one of my vices thank goodness), or screaming, or burying myself in sleep, or spending mind numbing hours playing inane computer games, but I'm not. 1) I still haven't gotten back on depression meds or found a doctor here for primary care or cancer care, nor a dentist.2) I'm far from what I have called home for several years and thus have few of

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-19009242053979165972011-10-06T10:57:00.000-07:002011-10-06T11:25:27.429-07:00

I doubt I've ever mentioned some personal things about me that in retrospect may help in eventually understanding why a woman gives up everything near and dear to her to move FAR away and in to a plural marriage..although, the plural part is only part of it, as you may have realized by now.For starters, I suffer from depression. I think throughout my life it has been an issue but became more

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-18534679177662617572011-09-26T14:19:00.000-07:002011-09-26T14:36:23.947-07:00

So...the new season of the TLC show Sister Wives started last night. For about a week or so, the Brown family, minus a pregnant Robin, made appearances on early morning talk/news shows and were the subject of commentary on other shows. I didn't pay much attention except I did get annoyed when a talk show host I otherwise admire made some derogatory comments like, "it's kind of disgusting" and

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-82543934801018929222011-09-19T19:11:00.000-07:002011-09-19T19:44:38.623-07:00

I've had another birthday, and for that I am grateful...but man oh man, how did I get so old? I'm not kidding, I've never thought of myself as an old person. My parents were old...my aunts and uncles and grandparents. I am still the rebellious 20something who never did the ordinary thing. The underachieving, late blooming daughter, sister, wife, mother. When I turned 30 I was depressed for days.

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-32977797792627399902011-09-01T09:44:00.001-07:002011-09-01T10:11:36.720-07:00

I'm here. Away from hubby, the wives, kids and grandkids, and with my "other" family. It's better in some ways for me and in some ways it's not. It is what it is. It's been a couple of weeks now and still no routine, I still feel like a visitor and I am. Honestly, the worst part is the grandkid. I miss the ones I left behind, very much. Young children aren't great telephone talkers. The new ones

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-4710579050558456982011-07-28T20:42:00.000-07:002011-07-28T20:52:54.574-07:00

When I was young I had a hard enough time picturing myself as a mother let alone a grandmother but now here I am, the proud grandma to 6+. I have 3 grown grandkids that I was never that close to. Three "step" grandkids here and three back home. All of those last six are quite young. Notice I put the word step in quotations. Fact is they feel biological to me. I love all my grandchildren to death

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-62774619547628004312011-07-18T20:12:00.000-07:002011-07-18T20:27:00.210-07:00

Wow seems I'm posting a lot! There is just so much on my mind. I feel like I've failed here. I feel as though no one here likes me, let alone loves me, except for the small children. Look, truth be told, I'm a pretty opinionated person, always have been. I've tried to keep it under check because folks here don't like opinionated people it seems. I'm from New York, New Yorkers tend to speak their

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-28033139024014617822011-07-17T20:05:00.000-07:002011-07-17T20:14:19.838-07:00

In less than a month I'll be flying back to where I came from, sort of. I'm no where near packed and thinking about it consumes me. What to pack, how much to pack, how to pack, to ship or carry. Sigh. Would be easier if I didn't have such a heavy heart. Hubby and I have been fighting off and on and it's very discouraging. I truly don't know what to do. I'm worried about so many things. How will

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-70703292244544303022011-06-25T19:04:00.000-07:002011-06-27T13:02:47.368-07:00

I don't know who of my old readers still look for my blog, some have stopped writing theirs. I hope this reaches some of them, and for the new readers please note..unless you read my whole blog you may misunderstand some of this.I haven't written in quite a while. Some of this is due to that after becoming ill with breast cancer I just didn't have the energy to keep up with a blog. Some is due to

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-52355966494680772842010-05-24T13:38:00.000-07:002010-05-24T13:58:01.512-07:00

I don't think I've ever elaborated about schedules here..in my old blog maybe. But schedules are important in polygamy in my humble opinion.When I first arrived here the three who were in the marriage already didn't have a schedule at all..it was more or less equal time in the first few years from what I've been told, then it was catch as catch can..with #2 catching the most time (from what I've

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-83302948652377709842010-05-22T15:34:00.000-07:002010-05-22T15:48:14.135-07:00

I have so much to talk about today but I'm going to try to limit the number of topics. It feels like forever since I've been here. I'm sorry to see that Third is thinking of not writing anymore :( I so enjoyed reading her and hope she returns to her blog.My #2 - well we are in an odd place at the moment. Somehow we are closer, but I have no clue how that happened...maybe I've come to the

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-27916444931068457322010-04-19T00:28:00.000-07:002010-04-19T00:34:35.244-07:00

Loneliness - different than feeling alone? I think so. The same yet different. A person can feel lonely temporarily, even for a moment. Alone on the other hand, or aloneness is a chronic condition and I'm afraid being in a plural marriage has resulted in that condition for me. It started out as small spats of loneliness that would pass. But as time goes on, more and more I feel simply alone here.

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-22184029634935946982010-04-13T14:51:00.000-07:002010-04-13T14:55:55.426-07:00

It may just happen. I may move to the house next door, although I would have to share it with one of hubby's sons and family, I'm still excited. I don't know what else to say except that I'm hoping. It's been mentioned several times as a real possibility. I think it will help hubby and I's relationship. A little space can sometimes do that. We are crowded here in this house plus the grandchildren

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-11413834562486301272010-03-25T13:18:00.000-07:002010-03-25T14:02:18.435-07:00

I really hate coming here to complain, but this is the only place where anyone would truly understand. I just don't feel right in a plural marriage at this point :/It's the sister-wives. I've tried I think to empathize with them; to not interfere too much in their lives; and to be a friend to them. It's not working. I've said before that I love #1. She is a trooper. She's loyal and steadfast and

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-66844202652249545212010-03-04T18:48:00.000-08:002010-03-04T19:02:57.101-08:00

Wow I hadn't realized it had been a whole month since I last posted! BTW I also had been keeping a handwritten journal dealing with my illness and dropped that over a month ago. I think I was burned out. Right now I'm feeling pretty ok. I have some lingering neuropathy, insomnia and forgetfulness but that's about all. I take a medication that is supposed to block estrogen to my system but oddly

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-89139467390117873012010-01-26T02:01:00.000-08:002010-01-26T02:04:17.506-08:00

I received a comment today from an anonymous writer who asked for the link to my old blog at HBO.com. I would love to publish the link here but the problem is that the new HBO website seems to have either obliterated the blogs or hidden them very well :/Should any of you have better luck navigating the new site or know how I can locate my blogs please let me know...sigh..it's 4 am I just noticed!

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-90028708019310645132010-01-20T14:06:00.000-08:002010-01-20T14:30:45.456-08:00

My heart is broken! The new website gives me no choice but to give away my identity to my family and friends and frankly that leaves me feeling I have to be careful of what I say. Plus they don't warn you until the end when you have to choose between three of THEIR suggestions, all of which contain either first name and last initial, first initial and last name or both names!! wth! grrrr withay

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-50106936377114817182010-01-19T01:02:00.000-08:002010-01-19T01:19:41.221-08:00

Here it is 3 am. I woke up at 2:30 after a restless few hours of sleep. The youngest grandchild slept over and in my room again. But that's not why I was tossing. I had another reconstruction session today and though the pain from them has gotten more manageable it's still upsetting. But then I'm finding a lot to be upsetting lately. I think I need to start painting and freelancing again. If I

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-36948259183735378202010-01-14T19:25:00.000-08:002010-01-14T19:32:53.835-08:00

I cannot believe it but HBO has taken down the bulletin board for Big Love right after the season premiere! Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with people don't you?I don't know if you have noticed but I tend to write this blog when my blood is boiling or when I'm less depressed. I've been really, really down lately even though my reconstruction is going as expected, tho painfully, and my hair is

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-33678275868642065442009-12-31T04:03:00.000-08:002009-12-31T04:21:59.044-08:00

Since I last wrote, chemo treatments are finished...yay! Reconstruction has progressed...bah humbug! Honestly, I apologize for not keeping in touch here or elsewhere, but I just haven't had the strength to write. They say it can take months to feel back to normal. I'm not certain I ever will. After that stay in the hospital I just seemed to feel weak most of the time. I haven't painted either. I

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-15331227222408717732009-10-18T13:06:00.000-07:002009-10-18T13:37:08.935-07:00

This time (2nd chemo treatment) not only did my blood count go south but I ran a temp so Hubby had to take me on doctor's orders to the ER. I wound up spending 5 days in the hospital. All's better now, for now and I finally have the strength to write.I've been spending some time reading poly blogs (not always commenting sorry) and I can't help but think what a variety of people we are. How

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-68016857909997290802009-10-07T12:31:00.000-07:002009-10-07T12:55:51.676-07:00

Cancer news: I had my 2nd treatment a week ago this past Tuesday and once again my white blood cells have bottomed out right on schedule. No raw veggies, no pets/animals, no young children, no crowds and a slew of other restrictions. This time no Nupegen shots just antibiotics. Lots of fatigue but no rashes or anything so I consider myself lucky. Normal NewsLife here on what we affectionately

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-48878682114128558972009-09-27T14:48:00.000-07:002009-09-27T14:55:23.883-07:00

Well, my hair decided to fall out the slow way...thinning, not in clumps. Just as yucky a way though if you ask me. Finally, yesterday, I had enough of it and asked Hubby to shave the rest off. It wasn't pleasant for him but he did it. It's an odd feeling, having no hair. wow.One thing about the living situation here that is a plus for me while I am going through this, Hubby is always here. I

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-24412926938326353392009-09-20T08:35:00.000-07:002009-09-20T08:43:59.707-07:00

Well shortly after writing the last post I had my first post chemo treatment blood test. Not a good result. My white blood cell were down off the chart and I was put on a shot to boost them back to normal. I cannot tell you how lousy I felt. This particular shot gives some folks horrible bone pain, I was lucky that I only had that for a day..but what a day it was. On the third day the next blood

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-28572087979848930932009-09-12T20:40:00.000-07:002009-09-12T21:08:08.297-07:00

Cancer sucks. Yes. I know all about the people who fight this dreadful disease with a smile on their face, a quick joke on their lips, and the courage of a whole army. I'm not one of them. I tried. Honestly, I did try in the beginning. Everyone said I took the diagnosis really well, and I did. I didn't panic; I read; I asked questions; I assured everyone around me that I was going to survive; I

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-50133547589778472012009-08-30T15:59:00.000-07:002009-08-30T16:11:21.341-07:00

This has been a couple of interesting weeks. Ups and downs in feelings; but the physical discomfort is somewhat abated, thank goodness. I'm even hoping I can get the go ahead from the doctors this week to DRIVE. Oh that would be wonderful!Last Sunday I even got to go out to dinner! I was feeling pretty good. Sundays are my days. Yes, I got the short end of the weekend stick. With a family this

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-15061411060915885902009-08-16T23:47:00.000-07:002009-08-16T23:55:34.939-07:00

I actually left the house yesterday!! Seriously, I am seriously bored. All this hanging around the house is frustrating. Only thing is I seem to have pulled a muscle in my side by getting out of bed on my own instead of asking for help. All in all though I'm doing well post surgery. I've had some moments that have been depressing or blue, but it's getting better. This hasn't been the "bonding"

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-75891121539314038182009-08-08T00:30:00.000-07:002009-08-08T00:41:15.619-07:00

It's been 8 days since surgery. Whatever made me think that I would be blogging when I first got home from the hospital, it was definitely not happening! I slept the first couple of days and barely remember them honestly. To be brutely honest, all I remember was being in terrible pain. The pain has eased up though there remains that god awful pressure feeling at the incisions and occasional waves

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-67752074331359792582009-07-25T01:03:00.000-07:002009-07-25T01:20:20.182-07:00

yikes! My sister is coming here the day before my surgery...at considerable expense I might add..It will be good to see her. This particular sister and I have had a love hate thing for many years but somehow she is always there for me........now that I think of it. She is also the one who recently married.We have had our rough spots she and I but I love her to death. I just hope all the extra

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-90881852721124056282009-07-17T22:20:00.000-07:002009-07-17T22:55:13.317-07:00

I finally got a date for my surgery!!!Thank god because the not knowing was driving me crazy. It feels like a pin was pushed into me like a balloon and the craziness is leaking out. Now I have to decide, silicone or saline. Oh, did I mention that I am going to have immediate reconstruction? I can't believe I'm doing that but I am. I realized long ago that my fear of getting breast cancer had as

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-57052500015077999222009-07-12T19:50:00.000-07:002009-07-12T20:01:26.093-07:00

I'm back home a week now. It's been the week to buckle down and take care of the cancer business. So I saw the oncologist and the plastic surgeon this week. Also had a full body cat-scan. I'm always afraid of what any test will find and this was no different. I won't know for another day or so and by then it will come mixed up with the pre-surgery visit to the breast surgeon and the total body

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-11035174025995138932009-07-07T15:48:00.000-07:002009-07-07T16:00:19.736-07:00

Well I took a trip back to my old hometown this past week. Also went to yet another state for a wedding and to see more family. It was really wonderful. Hubby joined me a couple of days before the wedding. Family seemed to like him :) Here is what's interesting to me:I almost came to tears when I got on the plane to fly to see my oldest boy and friends. And a couple of times when I was there,

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-67702781413006225462009-06-26T22:26:00.000-07:002009-06-26T22:49:19.401-07:00

It feels like it's been a long time since I've written here. I know it hasn't been long. What's been happening is I could write something everyday but I don't want to over do it and bore everyone who reads.Tuesday morning I went to see the so called famous Breast surgeon. In case you don't know there is one in every city and town. My sisters who only just found out about my plural marriage really

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-40750607136183427742009-06-18T10:53:00.000-07:002009-06-18T11:21:20.461-07:00

I'm going with the poll results and going to incorporate the breast cancer into this polygamy blog. I may do a separate one also at some point. Yesterday Hubby and I went to see the first breast surgeon I'm interviewing. #1 met us there. This is the surgeon I'm doubtful about but she turned out to be very nice. In my heart though I still have the nagging feeling I need another opinion. So I have

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-71551715698182436172009-06-14T17:41:00.000-07:002009-06-14T18:03:02.960-07:00

Here I am again! 2 posts/ 1 day I'm impressing myself.Anyway, if you scroll down you'll see a breast cancer awareness pink ribbon. I confess that I used to avoid those. Walks, runs, benefits, all avoided because of the symbolic pink ribbon. In my private world, breast cancer did not exist. Out of the blue not long ago I started to let go on the avoidance somewhat. There are all these cute, upbeat

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-72432347349026050442009-06-14T12:07:00.000-07:002009-06-14T12:24:43.777-07:00

The other morning I woke up feeling angry at the world. I walked around the yard cussing out the pets that were making growing an herb garden akin to climbing a mountain, and the strong sun that has burned what's growing even though I water every day; I kicked the leaky tire on one of the cars; slammed the hard to close gate shut and climbed back into bed to stare at the ceiling. It was a

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-79062377487530205652009-06-08T18:20:00.000-07:002009-06-08T19:08:54.819-07:00

Dear Readers/followers:Please read the previous post here before reading further.I need to make a decision about this blog. I want to keep on blogging about my choice in lifestyle, but at the same time I feel the need to blog about my breast cancer. Writing is what I do, have always done, and sometimes is the way I deal with things.The choice I have to make is whether or not to make it all one

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-37996839934708400072009-06-05T18:08:00.000-07:002009-06-05T18:31:59.734-07:00

I'm being tested. Just when I think I've conquered most if not all of my challenges another one comes along. A couple of weeks ago Hubby discovered a large lump on my breast, large enough to be visible to the eye although under my breast where my bra goes. How neither of us noticed this before I don't know as it is 2x2 cm. A day and a half later I was at the doctors office who sent me for a

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-8981648091833040092009-05-21T18:00:00.000-07:002009-05-21T19:57:12.672-07:00

Some plural families are formed out of religious belief as we all know, and some are not. All of Hubby's wives are here in this family out of love. At the time I first met our husband I had given up believing in romance; I had failed miserably at it before so it was something I thought was best to not even think about. But love came back into my life when as the cliche goes, I was least expecting

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-2073773652929000642009-05-18T23:57:00.000-07:002009-05-19T00:36:28.616-07:00

This has been a whirlwind of a week! We are fortunate that nothing all that tragic happened but still Tuesday through this morning was drama filled.Our niece had a baby, by a man she apparently deeply loves but with whom she can't get along. A few days prior to the blessed event Hubby was behaving in such a way that I knew (because we have this silent communication thing) he was thinking about

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-83348631332546691432009-05-10T21:38:00.000-07:002009-05-10T21:58:15.343-07:00

I think this is my first Mother's Day here..last year I was with my new grandbaby. It was nice. Hubby bought us each a dozen roses and cooked a good meal for us. I got to sleep very late this morning. The sixteen yr old bought me Arby's for lunch! My boys sent flowers and the littles here gave us all cards. A nice day, truthfully nicer than it would have been in my old life. Somehow my ex

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-4962872283983903402009-05-07T17:09:00.000-07:002009-05-07T17:18:04.744-07:00

I am very very tempted to tell my yoga instructor about my living situation. But I probably won't. I'm feeling ambivalent about the yoga at the moment anyway. What I enjoyed about her class when it was at the community college is that because the students were all seniors she went at a relatively slow pace with exercises and understood if there were just some things you couldn't do. Plus there

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-8022851634345494612009-04-17T14:25:00.000-07:002009-04-17T15:07:40.169-07:00

I think I shall write books, and get rich and famous; that would suit me, so that is my favorite dream. Louisa May AlcottI'm loving the quote of the day on my blog! As a child Louisa May Alcott was my favorite author and a heroine to me. I completely wore out my copy of Little Women! I saw myself as her...writing books and becoming rich and famous. Can you imagine that?! Instead I blog lol..So

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-9322723659594508542009-04-11T23:15:00.000-07:002009-04-11T23:58:02.851-07:00

The first Easter here. Actually, I was here last Easter but I think I was still shell shocked because it doesn't stand out in my mind as a holiday. This year though, I went with hubby to get the candy etc for the grandchildren's baskets. And we planned a meal. I shipped a package off to my family. Now, I find out accidently I think that Easter has never been a huge deal here. Church for the

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-67169557997901176852009-03-30T01:34:00.000-07:002009-03-30T01:52:22.955-07:00

A typical Sunday in our house.I get to sleep late Sunday morning because Saturday night is first wife's night, Sunday morning #2 goes to church and Sunday School with the grandbabies, and I like to give #1 and hubby some alone time before I wake up and get going, since Sunday is my day (in our godforsaken new schedule) I know I'm going to be spending alot of time with him.Since I don't work and I

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-85852014048376499212009-03-17T12:33:00.000-07:002009-03-17T12:49:58.297-07:00

I feel I should write more but I don't want to bore readers with such mundane stuff like sharing bathrooms etc. Sometimes I think that folks who don't know would be astonished at how ordinary and boring plural marriage can be on a day to day basis. So, I tend to write when there is a problem however big or small, or to vent about you know who lol.So today I will just write about simple stuff,

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-56441211736838702862009-02-28T01:18:00.000-08:002009-02-28T01:35:24.387-08:00

Our hubby has not one, two or three anniversaries to remember but 4! We have our individual anniversary - #1 their original wedding day. #2 I think it's the day they commerate her joining the family. #3 (me) The day we met. #4!!! The day I officially joined the family and we had a collective ceremony. The other day was my personal anniversary. And it was lovely!Hubby surprised me with breakfast

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-13050534427399808522009-02-20T15:37:00.001-08:002009-02-20T15:52:34.077-08:00

I read and post the forums on HBO's Big Love website..and the subject of Responsible Polygamy has come up. Everyone of course has their opinions but I've come to one conclusion that goes for any type of plural marriage one would enter into..mine is a little bit like the Big Love marriage in that it is what I would call Suburban Polygamy, instead of the compound type.The most important thing for

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-72105204762565656152009-02-09T15:43:00.000-08:002009-02-09T15:56:51.835-08:00

So, hubby told me that he expected me to have a sit down with the other women and hash all this out. Not an easy task as #1 avoids conflict of any kind, and #2 is hard to communicate with..but I gave it a try..minus number 1 who said she would defer to my judgement but needed to get to sleep early and had hubby's blessing.We talked..with me trying very very hard to be non confrontational. I told

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-29393990930709993792009-02-03T00:04:00.000-08:002009-02-03T00:42:11.164-08:00

Damn her! yes - I don't care if that sounds horrid. If you read my back story at all you know how important the schedule is and how elated I was when it changed to something I was more comfortable with. The problem started last Sunday and it's been..well welcome to my week from hell.Hubby and #1 wanted to surprise me by taking me to the casino (something I've expressed an interest in since the

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-12160584116444494472009-01-23T14:21:00.001-08:002009-01-23T15:17:43.437-08:00

Mid January and I' m feeling hopeful that this year will be an improvement over last. I decided that instead of lettin life control me totally I'm going to be more proactive. The community college here has a program for seniors, it's shocking how young you can be and still fall in to this category. After looking over the classes offered at a very reasonable rate, I chose yoga, swimming/exercise

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-42060773499188514882009-01-10T11:43:00.000-08:002009-01-10T11:54:34.807-08:00

The new year has brought us another challenge!For about 15 months the oldest son here and his wife plus two kids have lived in a house behind ours. The house I originally purchased for myself.They are very young and don't manage their finances well, and over the holidays let their utility payments go, you can guess that result!So they have moved in here for a week until things get taken care of..

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-57819766147405362402009-01-02T10:42:00.000-08:002009-01-02T10:55:47.187-08:00

New Year's resolutions ar traditional, but I've never been one to make any. I smoke, I tried the quit smoking one a couple of times and it didn't work. I cuss like a "sea going sailor" as my dad would say, I suppose I could promise to cut back on cussing, but why? It's not like I cuss at inappropriate times or places. I could promise to spend less, except I already do that. I might promise to

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-81024407867031091372008-12-30T15:06:00.000-08:002008-12-30T15:09:47.786-08:00

A Christmas morningsmiles and laughter fill the airsmall children and joyChristmas morningsbring memories of the good timesthe sadness escapesBright and shiney timesshared with loved ones and best friendsChristmas morning love

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-58697173060305514572008-12-30T13:42:00.000-08:002008-12-30T13:56:00.704-08:00

Christmas! I have always had ambivalent feelings toward Christmas..I love it and I hate it all at once..I have to say though, Hubby makes a wonderful Christmas, unlike some other men I've known, he is really in to the preparations which makes it a whole lot easier for everyone! Clean up of wrapping paper and dinner dishes is much easier with more hands on deck too. Although three women trying to

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-29115952276514380192008-12-18T22:44:00.000-08:002008-12-18T23:04:25.067-08:00

This is the second Christmas I'm not in my old home town with family and friends. My fourth Christmas not spent with my entire family, and for some reason this is the worst one yet.We are all getting along famously here so that's not it. The only one criticising the way I do things is you know who, and I can't help that. I'm just sitting here wondering when I will if ever have the money to send

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-69003934676187563842008-12-03T00:40:00.000-08:002008-12-03T01:18:03.683-08:00

This process has changed me for the better in a lot of respects. However my beliefs about polygamy have also changed somewhat. I thought, naively, that the best way to enter in to a polygamous marriage was through the "romantic" way. WRONG! That is probably the most difficult way to begin this journey.At least that is what I have come to believe. Let me tell you why if I can..I believe in romance

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-46165728906112914272008-11-20T23:28:00.000-08:002008-11-21T00:00:27.592-08:00

Our youngest son is sixteen. The age when boys are perhaps at their most sexually curious, if not active. He told me the other day that the first time he saw his father kiss me he felt uncomfortable. It made me a little sad. He has never lived in anything but a plural family. When he was born, #2 was already here, and she had a big part in helping to raise him. I'm hoping his uncomforableness

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-55571785842862216222008-11-10T12:20:00.000-08:002008-11-10T13:44:05.373-08:00

As the seasons change and the holidays approach I've been doing some reflecting on life lately. What a couple of years I've had!Married into a plural family, left my job and fast paced lifestyle, moved across the whole country, became a step parent and a grandmother almost all at once! It's no wonder my head still spins sometimes. As each obstacle or challenge comes it is dealt with but wow, it

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-48512493696468403622008-10-29T11:08:00.000-07:002008-10-29T11:36:51.882-07:00

I haven't posted in almost a month, not because I've had nothing to say, but more because I find it hard lately to choose where to start, or what topic to choose. Also there is the issue of comments.Sometimes I get what I consider to be quite a few comments. Yay, someone is reading! Then other times no comments at all. Boo! No one likes me so why bother..lol bloggers are sensitive people!The

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-85895280500160668652008-10-09T07:31:00.000-07:002008-10-09T07:56:01.686-07:00

I am reprinting a post I wrote back in July. when the "schedule" we had was something like this..I had Mondays and Wednsdays, #2 had Thursday and Fridays, #1 had Tuesday and Saturdays and we alternated Sundays. The whole schedule concept was MY idea in the first place. Remember dear reader, basically I had moved in to a home that was reminiscent of a 1960's "hippy" bohemian lifestyle. As with

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-56006987399260650062008-09-29T01:16:00.000-07:002008-09-29T01:41:16.431-07:00

I miss my kids. I miss my old friends. And I even miss parts of my old single life, especially my solitude in the morning. All of that is normal. I've only actually lived in my new home for 5 months.Being a step parent is rewarding on the one hand but not the same at all as being a parent. I don't care how much you love them, like them or they you.I've known these new kids of mine for quite a

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-77774927104955286942008-09-25T11:38:00.000-07:002008-09-25T11:56:22.171-07:00

It's been a year since I joined this family as the third wife. And what a year it's been! I willingly admit it hasn't always been easy or happy. But it's been an adventure, a satisfying one. Hubby tries very, very hard to make this a united and happy family. He is most tolerant and takes on much of the emotional burden and every day stress for all of us. This can leave us worried about him, his

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-11270645718068736012008-09-21T00:38:00.000-07:002008-09-21T01:00:43.114-07:00

How many wives should it take to make a man content and happy? I'm not a mormon and neither is anyone in our family, but it is a discussion we have occasionally. Hubby thinks 4 but then he'll turn around and agree that he couldn't handle a 4th lol. I think my question is really, why would a man even think about more wives? Hell, I wouldn't if I were a man.Women are complicated people. Cliche as

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-79123343356801321712008-09-17T18:49:00.000-07:002008-09-17T18:58:00.291-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday!I have found celebrations in plural marriage to be somewhat complicated emotionally and logistically, but was pleasantly surprised yesterday.NO ONE is better at birthdays than hubby. I would challenge anyone.First, he let me sleep. The night before he came into my room very late to ask what my favorite meal was. I don't have one and he knows this but thought perhaps he

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-49067255166654054262008-09-12T16:24:00.000-07:002008-09-12T17:12:08.874-07:00

So I have mentioned before that all three wives here have agreed and told Hubby that 3 is enough! There just aren't enough days in the week to divide him anymore, even though we all live under one roof and see him everyday. We agree, he teases about it, then he'll say he's just kidding etc. But I do feel badly sometimes because I know he would like another child and I can't give him one.Last

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-4079572326747234332008-09-08T16:30:00.001-07:002008-09-08T16:34:55.819-07:00

This post I made on a different site that concentrated on the decision and my move..you may find it interesting and hopefully it explains more background and contains some things I have learned up till now :)3 days till D dayMar 18, 2008It's Tuesday. Friday all that I have weeded through and left to be moved across the country, will be picked up. So here I sit. In the middle of several piles,

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-50465438609109034282008-09-03T15:47:00.000-07:002008-09-03T22:19:18.431-07:00

Sigh. This is hard to explain without sounding like a whining, foolish, and bitchy person. I have more or less gotten over the sexual jealousy part of plural marriage...I have. I think mostly because Hubby makes it easy.Sexual jealousy is natural in my opinion. But eventually it passes. I had alot of time to get used to it, so that helped. In the beginning when I first started sleeping here

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-87410641364623226332008-08-26T23:50:00.000-07:002008-08-27T00:12:04.292-07:00

I was born and raised a Roman Catholic and I'm afraid I'm one of those who born a Catholic remains one even after falling from grace as they say in the Catholic Church. Not that I still go to church, because I don't, but when I go for a funeral or wedding I still feel it's home. And I hope when they bury me they have a Catholic mass. I have no idea why I feel that way either. Thus, I never

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-83549039835413147512008-08-25T13:56:00.000-07:002008-08-25T14:33:03.589-07:00

Patience is something that is needed by all co-wives I think no matter where they are in the pecking order, don't you think?I mean, the first wife - well basically alot if not all first wives are probably saints. I'm going to be blunt honest here. I don't think I would ever go for this plural marriage thing if my marriage started out as monogamous. Maybe if I had become frigid or tired or my

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-21556025166590695012008-08-21T01:20:00.000-07:002008-08-21T01:47:29.585-07:00

In other places I have written about compromising. To me it is the number 1 negative in a plural marriage even above sharing.Some one recently wrote in their polygamy blog that they hate living with cats!! Oh did I so relate!I hope you all don't get tired of reading about compromising because I am fixated on it. As a plural wife, compromising is a huge part of my life and I have to assume with

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-40496702675181036252008-08-17T18:33:00.000-07:002008-08-17T18:59:15.185-07:00

I miss my friends. I don't speak to my old friends every day anymore, and I miss them. I miss being dragged out of the house when I'm in a funk and having a good time laughing over a glass of wine in spite of myself. I just got off the phone with a friend from back east and it suddenly hit me....other than family, I haven't made a single friend here in my new home. It reminded me of a post I

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-71140887971340117952008-08-16T17:13:00.000-07:002008-08-17T11:47:16.884-07:00

let's see... Hubby and I met over a shared hobby, became really close friends and eventually fell in love...however, knowing he was a practicing polygamist with two wives already, I was not keen on the idea of sharing him so I didn't think the day would ever come that I would become his wife. Over a period of approximately 5 years,we would drift apart, we would stay close friends and confidantes,

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270198873320954678.post-22024285134804244712008-08-14T01:56:00.000-07:002008-08-14T02:14:02.821-07:00

I have been blogging in different venues for a couple of years and actually have a blog on this topic on HBO's website under Big Love. Since I haven't figured out how to transfer those blog posts to here I will give you a synopsis of my story up until now. I'm sorry if this leaves holes or questions unanswered but I will do my best to eventually get all that information to this site eventually.

new#3http://www.blogger.com/profile/08502107324722814488noreply@blogger.com2